The Chad Week 8 - nominations

• Saint Kilda's Justin Koschitzke - for pretending to be a footballer.
• Western Bulldogs - for allowing Julia Gillard into their inner circle to sing the club song. Didn't they just sack a media hungry red-head who was associated with leaking information from confidential team meetings??
• David Noble - the Crows goal-kicking coach.
• Kevin Rudd - for being described by Alexander Downer as a "fucking awful person". Not even removing his gall bladder can stop the bile that flows from K Rudd.
• Kirsty Anne Fraser-Kirk - for her hyphenated name. If she marries Mark Fraser and then Brett Kirk, will she be known as Kirsty Anne Fraser-Kirk-Fraser-Kirk?
• Jacqueline Grogan - the 71-year-old Pennsylvania woman who shot two television sets and then her husband. Apparently, he made her watch the Crows v Richmond game.
• Richard Ashcroft (former Verve singer) - for storming off stage during his set at the Splendour in the Grass festival. He was reportedly unhappy with the small crowd that had come to watch him. This is the same guy who compared himself to Jesus a few years back. Perhaps if he offered to be crucified he might have gotten a bigger crowd.
• Stephen Conroy - for being voted Australia's dumbest politician in a magazine survey. A superb effort, given some of the dolts he was up against like Senators Steve Fielding and Sarah Hanson-Young.
• The disgruntled burglar who held up a Wendy's in Atlanta and later called the fast-food restaurant twice to complain he had not gotten enough money.
• Justin Westhoff - see Justin Koschitzke.
• The 21-year-old New Jersey man who was sentenced to jail for vomiting on another spectator and his 11-year-old daughter in the stands at a Philadelphia Phillies major league baseball game. Sure he wasn't watching Essendon play?
• The 80-year-old Frenchman who is recovering in hospital after being freed from a year locked in a laundry room by a wife almost half his age and her alleged lover. That is what you get for being French.
• The Sturt Football Club - for being, in their coach Luke Norman's words, "front-runners". He could also have added, "soft" and "nancy-boys".
• Adrian Anderson - will he not be happy until he has totally ruined football?
• North Korean soccer coach Kim Jong-hun - he has been made to work at a construction site after North Korea's poor showing at the World Cip. During a six-hour session at the People's Palace of Culture, Jong-hun and each player was individually singled out for their "mistakes" in front of 400 officials, including other sportsmen, women and students. Apparently, Matty Knights is being lined up to work on the Adelaide Oval re-construction.
• Julia Gillard - will the "real" Julia Gillard stand-up? Apparently, she will be starring in a re-make of Spartacus - "I'm Julia Gillard", "No, I'm Julia Gillard", "No, I'm Julia Gillard".
• Julia Gillard - is she the love-child of Wilma Flinstone and Pinochio?
• Lehmo - for making Rove look like a comedy genius
• Chris Dzelde - for making Lehmo look like Rove.
• Sebastian Vettel - for having a sooky sooky la la because Mark Webber won.
• Mark Webber - for having a sooky sooky la la even though Mark Webber won.
• Mathew Newton - apparently, for his next role he won't have to do much acting - he plays Ben Cousins in the upcoming Ben Cousins Documentary.
• Rory Sloane - for saying the Crows don't have a kicking problem. Yeah, and Mathew Newton doesn't have a drug problem.
• Susan Boyle - shouldn't boils be lanced?
• Andrew Jarman - 2 wins at Perth and he's leaving by "mutual consent". Choco left Port by "mutual consent" too.
• Foxtel Channel 111 "hits" - the title "hits" must be ironic because the line-up of shows includes Ellen, Suddenly Susan and Mad About You.
• The groundsman at the Colombo cricket ground - for preparing the first concrete pitch in test cricket history. Perhaps, they can get him to look after Etihad Stadium?
• Graham Perrett - the Labor MP for Moreton in Brisbane for being the bonehead of the campaign. "Boneheading" is the ancient art of getting your mug on the telly behind a minister, opposition leader or prime minister while they're visiting your electorate. See his brilliant peformance during a live cross to Nicola Roxon. The third picture suggests he is not wearing any pants.

• Julia Gillard - I will NOT do another debate. Hang on fellas, I'm now less popular than only Matty Knights at Windy Hill. Tony, I've changed my mind - let's do another debate.
• BP - about as successful in plugging leaks as the Labor cabinet.
• The 17 Iranian political prisoners on a hunger strike in Tehran in an effort to get better conditions. Their chances of success are lower than the chances of the McLeods being invited to the Edwards' for a friendly game of scrabble.
• The parents of a 14 year-old Dutch girl who is going to sail around the world. Given she's Dutch, she will no doubt choke at the final hurdle.
• Victorian football media - for all the hype on the return of Nick Reiwoldt and then watching the Saints lose 3 out of 4 games.
• Darren Ng: (Sturt Sabres and Adelaide 36ers basketballer) - for setting a screen on Norwood Flames enforcer Dan Thompson and then suddenly realising Thommo is 115kg and makes Big Bad Barry Hall appear small and skinny. At that moment Darren (who is 80kgs dripping wet) jumped out of the way and may have needed a change of underwear at Half Time, given the look of sheer terror on his otherwise emotionless demeanour. Amazing how a person’s life can flash before their eyes in a moment of stupidity!
• Ernie Dingo - for being true to his surname.
• Socceroos interim coach Han Berger - do you want fries and a coke with that?
• The 2500 Radio Times readers who voted ET has the best movie of all-time. Mary Poppins and Chitty Chity Bang Bang made the top 5. What next? Ashton Kutcher the best actor of all-time?