While the election campaign is thankfully winding down, there has been no respite in the number of Chad nominees. It seems that in every facet of life, fuckwits are multiplying like rabbits. In politics, sport, the media, entertainment, you name it, fuckwits are now as common as a Mark Latham restraining order.
There were some genuine stand-outs this week and the field of fuckwits was narrowed down to three – Tim Lane, Shaun Tait, and Tony “Fweddy” McGuiness.
Tim Lane has been knocking on the door of Chadsville Manor for quite a while and the door finally opened early in the first quarter of the Geelong v Bulldogs game last week, with his brilliant summation that it was “all over, red rover” for Geelong. According to Tim, Amanda Vanstone, fresh off the plane from a 3 year eating binge in Italy, was singing at the top of her lungs. However, 14 unanswered goals later and a 101 point win to Geelong, Tim received his first Chad nomination and poor old Amanda spewed up a lasagne in the dunnies at Etihad Stadium.
Shaun Tait, aka The Wild Thing. Yeah, he’s about as wild as Kevin Rudd at a strip joint.. He earned his nomination by stating that he does not want to play for Australia in the upcoming Ashes test series. No, he’d rather play for the Bangalore Bin Ladens in the Indian Premier League. All a bit too hard for ya, is it Shaun? Well, put ya feet up son and take a Valium, and let the real blokes take on the Poms.
Which brings us to Tony “Fweddy” McGuiness. Fweddy is a well known pants man about town, specialising in lunch-cutting, particularly at the Glenelg Footy Club, with wives of players, cheerleaders and probably Tony Symonds. However, this time, poor old Fweddy was stupid enough to get caught with an ex-bikie’s wife. So now his best mate, Bone McDermott, has given him a one-way ticket to Africa. But you don’t leave empty-handed, Fweddy, as I’m please to announce that you are this week’s winner of the Chad Medal. Congratulations, and good luck with cutting lunches in Africa.
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