• St Kilda Football Club - what a club, what a clusterfuck.  Rapists, stalkers and drug cheats. They trade one of their best midfielders and their only decent ruckman, they have more internal troubles than a cunt with 15 peptic ulcers and a bowel blockage. Oh how I want to be with St Kilda, pigs fucken arse. Oh how I want to be on the bookies, to find out the odds of them finishing bottom four next year. 

• Tony Hill - sheep rooting umpire whose insipid display in the recent Ashes series has resulted in his likely dismissal from the elite umpires group. The cockarse they are thinking of replacing him with - Billy fucking Bowden. That's like replacing herpes for AIDS. 

Return of The Chad

Yeah yeah we know we haven't produced anything for ya for a while.  We've been busy so get fucked. The Chad is back, albeit in a slightly different format. Instead of nominees and a weekly winner The Chad Editor and Laurie Holden will just tee off on any cunt we think is Chadlike and from time to time when we can be arsed we will announce a winner, be it for a week or a month. The reason? We're fucken lazy. Come to think of it it's not much different  to what it was. I would ramble more about how much better things will be but it would be a lie, and I'm getting bored. So keep your eye out, possibly tonight after I've had a few more beers