Winner summer series week 8

The winner of this week's Chad stands out like a big fucking nose on a ranga. In fact, the winner of this week's Chad is a fucking ranga with a big fucking nose - Julia Gillard. Fair dinkum, just when you think she can't stoop any lower, she fucking well does, this time by orchestrating the so-called Australia Day "riots". The media was quick to jump all over the footage of poor old Julia being rushed out of a restaurant in Canberra that was surrounded by "rioting" Aborigines, with a posse of Federal Police ably assisted by BA Barracus and the rest of the fucking A-Team shoving her nose first into a waiting divvy van - unfortunately her arse is so fucking wide she got stuck in the exit of the restaurant and all fifty of the coppers had to drag her out, nose-first. And then poor Julia tripped over her nose and lost a shoe in the commotion. Normally it is Cinderalla who loses her shoe but in this case it was the fucking ugly sister. Quite apt really because it turns out the whole event was a fucking fairytale, concocted and set-up by Julia and her spin doctor. Yes, Julia's chief spin doctor allerted the stooges at the Tent Embassy that Tony Abbott had made some disparaging remarks about the Tent Embassy and that they could find Tony at the restaurant if they wanted to come over and give him some shit. Obviously, Julia thought she could embarrass Tony while at the same time garner some sympathy for herself. Well, it worked initially, with the media goons sucked in as normal - talk about a bunch of lazy fucks. Laurie Oakes was too busy chowing down a whole cow to notice.

However, it quickly went pear-shaped for Julia when someone from the Tent Embassy spilled the beans on radio that it was Julia's man that had tipped them off and had told them that Tony said the Tent Embassy should be torn down. True to form, when confronted with this allegation, Julia lied through her fucking teeth, initially denying any involvement - but the fact that her nose grew a couple of inches overnight quickly allerted people that she was once again telling porky pies. Funny, she has a made an artform about being caught telling fibs. When she started in politics, she had a button nose - today it resembles a fucking scud missile. Mr Squiggle would be proud of that honker. For fucksake, we all know politicians are fucking lying cunts but Julia doesn't even attempt to hide the fact she's lying - it is blatant as the fucking nose on her face (ok, enough of the nose references). And to rub salt into the wounds, you would think that after the "traumatic" events of Australia Day that Julia would take some time out and try and make amends and deal with the situation - but no, she had her big fucking snout (ok, just one more nose reference) right in the trough with front row seats at the Australian Open. I don't know what was more fucking infuriating - seeing her fucking ugly mug smirking on the telly or hearing those two moles squealing like porno stars taking it up the jatz cracker. Fuck me, this bitch has some hide. She makes Mike Rann seem not quite as big a cunt - nah, I take that back, he's still a massive cunt, she is a just a bigger one. And what shits me even more is that the Australian public think she is so fucking crap that they would rather have Kevin Rudd in charge! Ya fucking what? Have you fuckwits got a memory?? The reason that nob jockey got knifed by Julia and her backroom boys was that the Australian public thought he was an arrogant cunt - and they were spot-on, he is a jumped-up little fucking turd who knows fuck all except how to jiggle a fucking tea-bag. Wake up, people - Julia is a fuckwit but so is Kevin. The major problem is the alternative - Tony is a bit of a cunt too and those fucking dick bathers and cauliflower ears don't help the situation either. Anyway, I digress. Back to the winner of the Chad Medal. Julia wins this week's medal in a fucking landslide. Andrew Wilkie has gladly agreed to present Julia with the medal along with a $50 voucher to play the pokies at the Land of Promise Hotel. Punters at the Land of Promise have asked management to dispense with the usual female traditions at the front bar and have banned Julia from flashing her puppies upon entry - noone wants to see that (I've just been sick in my mouth thinking about it). You're a prick, Julia - bash the medal up ya arse.

Summer Series Week 9 Nominees

• Federated Farmers - NZ farming lobby group that wants shearing as a demo sport in the Olympics/Commonwealth Games. According to Groups Meat and Fibre chairwoman ( I'm not making that title up, no bullshit ) Jeanette Maxwell, shearing requires both skill and physical effort. And also requires supreme restraint to be shown from the NZ shearers as they try to resist the urge to root the sheep.



• Fiji TV - reported military leader Frank Bainmarama came second in in poll of personality of the year, then a week later retracted the claim saying he was winner in a re-count and was forced to apologise by the Fijian Commerce Commission. It was an honest mistake they said, now please take my testicles out of that vice.



• The 45 year Spaniard gored to death by a bull with flaming horns - it was later discovered not to be a bull but former 'womens' tennis player Arantxa Sanchez Vicario. Fair dinkum can you believe she's been married twice, two sick bastards have done the dirty with this shaved wildebeest. If you feel like spewing your ring up, google her, the pictures of her look like she was the product of a one night stand when Animal from The Muppetts fucked Jenny Williams. Unfortunately she didn't get Animal's looks.



• The Bulgarian Orthodox Church - discovered whilst searching for a new church leader that 11 out of 15 Bishops were former secret agents. As if the church wasn't shifty enough, imagine going to confession with one of these blokes. Forgive me father for I have sinned, I took the presidents name in vain. Very well my son, for penance I want to to get in the van outside with the two blokes carrying clubs.



• Port Magpies - signed Adam Cockshell. They must have a minimum one fat cunt quota at the Maggies, Lokan goes, the mattress fucker arrives.



• Punjab Institute of Cardiology - supplied a heart medicine that killed at least 25 patients. Not surprisingly none of the current Indian test team were amongst the dead.



• Zimbabwean test cricket team - won the toss in a one-off test v NZ then proceeded to concede 7/495 to the sheep rooters. Things didn't get better, they got skittled for 51 & 143 in a day. If it was the Pakis you'd say it was dodgy but they really are that shit. Well done ICC, great move letting these pricks back into test cricket, obviously Robert Mugabe has been forgiven.



• Humphrey Smith - owner of Samuel Smith Brewery who showed up at The Junction Inn in Greater Manchester and told publicans Peter and Debbie Gibson that he was shutting them down because the heads they put on the pints of beer they served punters weren't enough and they now owed the company $15859 for lost stock in topping up the glasses. Talk about a cunt act, shitcan em for looking after their regulars. How about I sue you for trying to poison me when I tried some of that fucking swill you call beer in England a few years ago you tight prick?



• Crystal Warren - UK woman who claims to have slept with up to 1000 men but blames it on a sex addiction. She's currently undergoing therapy with counsellors Nicole Cornes and Georgie McGuinness.



• Trish Gully - current partner of soon to be jailbird Fabian Francis who claims "He's got a heart of gold" and vowed to spend the rest of her life with him. Yeah a heart of gold, and a fistful of his ex-missus teeth, fucken great bloke. And vowing to spend the rest of your life with that cunt doesn't give you long to go, I'd be using the 15 months he's in the can to enjoy yourself. Go down to Salisbury West Footy Club and get em to send their best wishes, they'd love to catch up with him, you wouldn't have to worry about him bashing you after they rip his fucken arms off.



• The thief in Germany who broke into a car and stole a red plastic box that contained 7 wooden dicks of varying sizes, 100 condoms, ans instructional material for sex-ed classes - we now know the location of Tony McGuinness then.



• North Adelaide Football Club - Appointed James Allan as captain. And you thought North were soft before, they're gonna be softer than Molly Meldrum's dick at The Crazy Horse.



• Marty Clarke - coach of the 36ers who's managed to steer them to last on the table. A job at Port Power awaits.



• Paul Caica - for spending $800,000 on introducing "rubbish police" to stop illegal dumping. You complete and utter punnet head, how about you put your miniscule brain to work and figure out why people dump shit on the street rather than at official dump sites. There is a simple answer fuckface - like every other service the Government is involved, you cunts charge like a wounded bull. Lower the cost of dumping and problem solved.



• Adelaide Bikies - for fucksake, how hard is it to finish off Fuckarelli? Typical fucking Adelaide, no job is ever done right.



• The England cricket team - chasing 140 to win but collapsed to be all out for 72. Nothing dodgy there, although Strauss was seen leaving the ground in a brand new Airbus A380 in English colours.



• Jennifer and Scott Petkov - the American couple who taunted a dying girl on Facebook. To make matters worse they appeared on Dr Phil to apologise. I don't know what is the bigger crime - taunting a dying girl or appearing on Dr Phil?



• The Afghan husband who beat his wife to death because she gave birth to a girl - Jack Riewoldt's father is still on the run.



• Neil Beeson - the pommy cunt who designed a study that suggests women are better at parking than men - how much was spent on this fucking ground-breaking study? The results are not surprising given the study also showed that women spend 21 seconds parking and men 16. It is just like any other meaningless task that women spend inordinate amounts of time on, like getting ready to go out. Get a life, Neil, ya boring fuckwit.



• 20/20 Australian team - great to see some young up-and-comers in the team, such as Lillee, Thomson, Marsh and Walker.



• The fucking animal who got caught shoplifting in a Southern Suburbs hardware store by stuffing goods into his kids pram, then when busted ran off pushing the pram - after one of the staff ran after him he picked up the pram with the kid still in it and dumped it over a fence, and then proceeded to keep running away. What a dead set piece of filth. There are decent people who can't have kids and this fucken scum treats his child like a throw away toy. They should take the kid away for one, then make sure the shitball could never do something like that again. Preferably by stringing him up by his balls with rusty barbed wire. And then caving his fucken head in.



• Wayne Carey - when visiting prisoners in jail, the cockhead got busted for having traces of cocaine on him. Of course, King Carey denied it was his coke. Yeah, righto, Wayne, I suppose you thought that white powder that Ben Cousins gave you was Johnson's Baby Powder.



• Kurt Tippett - for his on-line blog, kurttippett.com.au/blog. What a fountain of wisdom you are Kurt. My favourite blog was Kurt's Kicking Skills, closely followed by, I'm Gonna Fuck The Crows Off Next Year and Head Back To The Gold Coast.



• Egyptian soccer fans - for fucksake, if you want to kill some football supporters, get yourselves on a plane to Australia and make ya way to a Collingwood game - start with that fuckwit, Joffa.



• Tennis Officials - for complaining that junior champ, Luke Saville, included "shitload" in his winner's speech. I gotta say, there are a shitload of fuckwits running Australian tennis. And Serena Williams has a shitload of ass. And Sam Stosur has a shitload of choking in her. And Jim Courier talks a shitload of shit. And Todd Woodbridge is a prissy little bitch.



• Hollywood actresses - for having plastic surgery that turns them into fucking freakshows, you know, looking like a cross between Graham Cornes and Georgina McGuinness.



• Kevin Rudd - will you just fuck right off. We all know Julia Gillard is a fucking idiot but that does not mean we want you back as PM. Take an extended trip to Afghanistan.



• Westpac - making fucking billions and still sacking people.



• Craig Thomson - cunt. You can run but you can't hide, fucker.



• Health Services Union - for giving $600,000 last year to the Labor Party, despite having debts of $19 million. Wouldn't be to help ya former boss, Craig Thomson a hand, would it?



• Christopher Pyne - he has admitted he has no friends on either side of politics. Quote, "It's very hard to be friends with people who want to have the same thing that you want." Yeah, it must be very hard being friends with mincing poodles who want to stick plastic bananas up their arses.



• Speaking of poodles, Councillor Anne Moran - I think you have mis-spelt your surname.



• Police want laws to make bikies talk - how about a law to make Amanda Blair shut the fuck up.



• Neighbourhood Watch - fuckwits, while you were watching ya neighbourhood, ya treasurer was helping herself to $20,000 from ya bank account.



• Bill Vis, head of VIP Home Services - for sponsoring Port Adelaide. Makes sense, I suppose, because there is a big fucking mess to clean up at Alberton.

Summer Series Week 8 Nominees

• 20/20 - if you didn't think this form of cricket was a fucken sick joke before how's this for a laugh, Brad Hogg has been picked for the Aussie 20/20 team at the age of 41. He's bowled fucken pies and the only reason cunts are getting out is after being mesmerised by his Jamie Oliver bloated cows tongue hanging out of his mouth as he bowls. He's dead set fucken shit and to pick him for a national side shows how contemptible this form of the game is.
  

• Cancer patients who continue to smoke during/after treatment - no need to perform a catscan on these fuckwits, you're obviously not going to find a brain


• Young Talent Time - for fucksake, what a load of shite. The only cunt watching it was Malcolm Fox.



• Li Na - for the biggest choke I have seen against Kim Clijsters, well, the biggest since Sam Stosur stepped on court or since Georgina McGuinness prepared for a job interview by getting down on her knees and opening her gob.



• Julia Gillard - for yet another lie/backflip/con-jop - this time screwing over Andrew Wilkie. No wonder this bitch has a nose the length of the straight at Flemington Racecourse. She has taken politicians to an all-time low.



• Sasha Rann - for complaining that property developers cut down some trees at the Avenues Shopping Centre. You fucking dumb bitch - it was your deadshit husband that allowed them to do it.



• The Queen - for charging Australian taxpayers for gifts she handed out on her recent roadtrip to Australia. Get fucked. Why the fuck should we pay for a set of fake Prince Charles ears and stuffed Corgis.



• The State Government - for refusing to release the details of $264 million worth of secret payments paid to property. Nah, we don't need an ICCAC in SA. Dodgy fucking cunts. You are a cunt, Foley.



• Fabian Francis - for being recruited by the Yatala Football Club. Who would've thought the cunt learned his craft, on and off the field, at Port Adelaide?



• Glynn Hewitt's mullet - Billy Ray Cyrus wants it back. Dickhead.



• India - a superb fighting effort in getting butt-fucked by the Aussies 4-0.



• India - for continually refusing to walk off the field when given out, despite them refusing the use of the referral system. Wankers. Absolute wankers.



• Grunters in women's tennis - for fucksake, the Azarenka v Sharapova final sounded like a fucking porn movie.



• Tom Kenyon - for not driving a locally produced car. You are a prick.



• Shaun Marsh - for being India's most dominant player during the Test Series.



• Thomas Berdych - for not shaking hands with his opponent after being hit by the ball during the match. Dickhead, you learnt pretty quickly that Aussies fucking hate whingers and bad sports - and you tick both of those boxes.



• Anthony Albanese - for getting caught plagiarising a speech out of the crap movie, The American President. Good effort, stupid. We would have allowed some cribbing if it was from something decent like The Castle or The Club.



• State Government - for allowing a Maccas to be built opposite Woodville Primary School. Hey, Mick Atkinson, you wife-bashing cunt, are you gonna do something about it or are you getting a kickback from Maccas?



• Burnside Council's Leni Palk - for this quote when instructing the Burnside Mayor not to appear before a government inquiry into corruption involving the council. This is fucking gold, "the problem with these things is you can't control the questions they are asking". No shit, Sherlock. The whole point of these inquiries is to get to the truth, but we can't have that, can we, Leni?



• Julia Gillard - for trying to act like a victim in the recent protest controversy outside the restaurant in Canberra after her own fucking people set up the whole situation. You stink, Gillard. You didn't look too stressed when you had your fucking big and ever growing snout in the trough at the Australian Open. You are an ankle. You shit me to tears.



• Sachin Tendulkar - for refusing to speak to the media during the Test Series. The Little Master, alright, The Little Cockmaster. No doubt ya 10oth ton will be achieved on Indian soil with help from some well-paid umpires and Pakistani players.



• Damian Fleming - with the way this prick bangs on about his playing days when he commentates you would have thought he was a fucking genius who played 100 tests and took 500 wickets. Newsflash, Flemo, ya cockhead, you were an average player who finished his career not playing for the Redbacks.



• Demi Moore - for being rushed to hospital for a drug overdose. A drug overdose is the least she can do for a) marrying Bruce Willis b) marrying Ashton Kutcher and c) for inflicting that piece of crap, The Ghost, on the world.



• Dallas Wiens - the Texas father is the first US man to get a face transplant. He fucked up big-time when his surgeons mis-heard him. When he said "I want a face like Pitt", they thought he said, "I want a face like shit" and he ended up with a head like Damien Peverill.



• Norwood Junior Basketball Club Committee - Peter "I Love Sturt" Roberts, Steve "Kevin Foley" Murray and Scott "Bernard Finnigan" Hann. For being a pack of pillow-biting, ass-kissing, , Church of Scientology members. Listen up, dickheads, just because your kids are shit doesn't mean you should take it out your frustrations on more talented kids playing at the club. You three have a severe case of "small dick and even smaller brain" syndrome. Roberts and Murray, ya fucked up Sturt and now you are doing the same to Norwood. You are nothing but self-loving failures who have never achieved anything in life. Thanks for doing your best to destroy a once proud club.



• B2's son - for jumping into the Murray River and trying to bomb a carp only to land awkwardly and break his foot in two spots. The carp swam away laughing. No wonder B2 looks like Paul Chapman's twin sister.



• James Wilkinson - the Melbourne teenager who died while train-surfing for describing himself as the "Kelly Slater of train surfing". I'd say you were more accurately the Peter Brock of train surfing

• Gautam Gambir - Indian opener who has bleated about Australian groundsmen preparing pitches to suit their bowlers, and has encouraged Indian groundsmen to prepare raging turners when India next face Australia over there. Beg your fucking pardon dickhead, when have Indian groundsmen done anything but prepare fucking dustbowl pitches that play flat as Georgie McGuinness' chest, low as Kevin Foley's credibility and turn like Peter Allan ( or James Allan for that matter ) in an 'all male' sauna. You're just a fucken pissweak sook because you shit your pants when a ball deviates off the pitch. And nice work saying Peter Siddle was a one trick pony, he fucked you up on a dead set road at Adelaide, you weak cunt.

• Zaheer Khan - Indian opening bowler who has showed less heart than Fiona Coote mid operation when batting this series. He was reported to the match referee ( and subsequently got off, when you run the ICC you can get away with murder, the sub-continent version of Eugene Mcgee ) for breaking the square leg umpires foot on multiple occasions after shitting his daks when an Aussie bowler bowled a ball anywhere near him.

• The Indian cricket supporter who thought it was a good idea to bang his fucken drum 5 yards from the left earhole of The Chad Editor - thankfully his team went down like Georgie McGuinness at a job interview and I didn't hear much from the prick. Fair dinkum it was fucken shite, he made Ringo Starr look competent.

• Andrew Wilkie - for being stupid enough to believe Julia Gillard would be true to her word. You dumbfuck. You should know being a politician yourself that you're all a pack of lying arseholes.

• Tony Dey - for not retiring from umpiring. It's not even time for the trial games yet and I already want to smash the cunt.

Summer Series Week 7 Winner

Despite the best efforts of the cowardly lion Francesco Schettino to claim the award this week the winner of The Chad Medal Summer Series is the State Liberal Party.The SA Liberal Party have proven they are as able an opposition as the ALP are a government after their appointment of amateur mattress tester Georgina McGuinness as a speechwriter. And going back over the last few years I have come to the conclusion that they are the match- fixers of the political scene, the Pakistan cricket team of politics. The ALP has committed fuckup after fuckup over the last few years and have the Liberals capitalised on this? No, they prefer to say fuck all or stick their feet in their gobs that often they've given themselves athletes foot in their pieholes. Your trying to tell me the amount of times Roly Poly Foley sleazed, lied or just plain fucked up weren't enough ammunition to sink a government alone? Desal plants, Michelle Chantelois, the Port river development, just 3 examples of ALP ineptitude that the Liberals should have dry-rooted the government over. But no the Liberals respond with Martin Hamilton Smith spouting claims that he didn't check to see if they were in any way credible, Vickie Chapman hissing like a cobra with Chad Morgan teeth and Isobel Redmond, the puckered cats- arsed mouthed silent leader. She doesn't do fuck all, if she was a decent leader she would have held the ALP to account for all their fuckups and hammered them like Nicole Cornes over a desk at an ALP convention. And then she has the 'foresight' to employ Georgie McGuinness as a speechwriter, talk about dumb and fucken dumber. Thick ex-Glenelg players tarts don't make the grade in the political scene you stupid bitch, they only give cunts like those who write and contribute to this blog ample material to hang shit on you. I say again, they've had more than ample opportunity to take this state by the balls and make it their own, but haven't due to their own incompetence, or have they got money on the ALP? I know the Liberal party is short of a bit of coin, any chance they had a bit of cash on the ALP to win last election, the old no-ball by 6 inches, dropping Ricky Ponting on 0 at Hobart and letting him get to a double-ton, losing a seemingly unloseable test by deliberate shit field placings and shonky shots to get out? It starts to make sense ( more so if you've had a few beers granted ) when you contemplate that. You've fucken tanked the last 10 years you shonky cunts and you're fucken busted, why else would one of your few credible MP's in Rob Lucas be kept out of the political spotlight, afraid he was gonna bring down the ruse? Go and get fucked, you've won The Chad Medal this week, pull your head in and make this smarmy bunch of wankers in government accountable for their actions, yeah I'm talking to you Isobel Ul Haq, fucken do something for christsake.

Summer Series - Week 7 Nominees

• Tom Brandit - when asked by The Crapvertiser's street talk whether plain-packaged cigarettes had changed his smoking habits the fuckwit replied " yes, now I smoke more ". Fucken hell how this cunt would still more than likely be on the dole is a fucken mystery to me, the cunt could make millions as a comedian. And by the look of him it's not just ciggies that he smokes, he looks like a fucken cock smoker as well.

• Rachel Beer - had a bitch after she was refused entry into a home-brew competition in Queenstown NZ because the organisers said it was a male only event. Fucken women want to ruin all male pursuits of happiness by sticking their noses in - golf,cricket, now this/ Apparently she was most upset when informed that the beers on offer had a more attractive looking head than hers.

• The SA State Govt - apparently despite having no scruples about butt-fucking the tax payers of this state can't even pay their own bills on time. For fucksake if a government can't pay its bills is it any wonder the average joe is struggling? I'll bet the arseholes don't pay Media Mike Rann his recent ill-gotten Parliamentary retirement slush fund late.

• People who use illegal fireworks - the CFS have said that these dropkicks have caused at least 17 fires in this fire season alone through trying to be Guy Fawkes. If they catch these fuckwits they should let off a penny bunger up their fucken bunger as see if they find it so amusing then.

• Cheng Jin - owner of the news agency in the Central Market that burned down said he had insurance but not for fire. What were you insured for then you fuckwit - rampaging Mongolian hordes? Fucken snow? He must've taken out the "I'm a dopey fucknut" insurance policy.

• Madonna - " I don't think I've ever cooked a meal entirely by myself ". Fuck that's a shock, I thought she would've been a regular Nigella Lawson. I'll bet she's smoked some fucken sausage in her time though.

• Jana Pittman - she's like fucken herpes, you can't get rid of her. Recently got rolled at an athletics meet by some chick who no bastard has heard of but still persists in saying she's in the mix for the London Olympics. Get a grip, just fuck off you attention-seeking slag.

• The 31 year old Austrian woman who was crushed to death by a cow - a holidaying Amanda Vanstone is assisting police with their inquiries.

• Madison Ashton - Dead Visy Board former owner Richard Pratt's slapper lost her appeal to fleece millions from his estate. You can't blame Pratt for looking elsewhere for a bit of action though, have you seen his missus, she's got a head like a half eaten squid.

• Mexican Medics - were transporting a transplant heart via helicopter but when one of the medics got out he stumbled and the plastic wrapped heart tumbled out of their esky and onto the street. The intended recipient was philosophical and was heard to say "I've played a whole career for the WWT Eagles in the number 3 guernsey without one anyway ".

• Mark Wahlberg - declared that if he was on one of the hijacked planes on 9/11 "There would have been a lot of blood in that first class cabin and then me saying ' Ok, we're going to land somewhere safely, don't worry". What would you have done fuckwit, whacked em over the head with the fake dick you were sporting in Boogie Nights? And you're right, there would've been a lot of blood in the cabin, after they blew your fucking head off. Apparently Wahlberg had booked a ticket on one of the flights that crashed into the twin towers but cancelled the ticket a few days before. Did we know something was going to happen? Can you explain why you changed your name to Ahmed Mohammed on 3/11? Take the cunt down to Guantanamo Bay and fucken find out.

• Richard Bowles - Pommie ex-pat who thinks it's a good idea to run from Healesville Victoria to Queenstown Qld in 5 and a half months. That's 5330km. When asked why the fuck he is doing it he replied "I enjoy running". I enjoy rooting but I don't want to do it for 5 months straight, for one the Adelaide test match is coming up.

• Asure Quality - a company in Wellington NZ ( these fuckups are turning into the next US ) has fired Stephen Thomas, who had worked for them since 1976, for calling his female workmates " fat-arsed bitches ". Good onya Steve tell it like it is, if they've got a fat arse and they're a fucken bitch why should he get in strife for telling the truth. Just like if you work for an MP and he happens to be downloading kiddy porn you should be able to publicly declare he is a filthy piece of shit who should be strung up by his nards. ( On a side note, has anyone seen Bernard Finnigan lately? ). He appealed against the decision and was awarded compensation but wasn't allowed back to his old job, which didn't bother Stephen as he was soon offered a position as Bob Katter's Hillbilly Party spokesman.

• Twinings - have released a Kevin Rudd brewed tea in time for Australia Day. If it's anything like K.Rudd it'll be bitter and give you the shits.

• Indian Cricket - FAAAAAAAARKED. From the rooster to the feather duster, well eat a giant shitburger, even manipulating the ICC as your own personal plaything can't help the fact that against a decent short ball you've got all the spine of a Sturt player under a high ball. Unless of course the cunts ban anyone from pitching balls above waist height. Which they might. Shifty cunts.

• Francesco Schettino - Italian skipper of the cruise ship Costa Concordia who it appears has all the navigation skills of a 16 year old boy trying to find the clitoris. Despite having a GPS in the ship ( and apparently also a skinful of piss ) he still managed to run it into a reef, tearing a gaping hole in the side and killing at least 10 people. On top of this monumental fuckup he then went and completely covered himself himself in glory by performing the Italian national march ( ie. running away with a giant shit trail down your leg ) and abandoning ship at the first opportunity, leaving shitloads of people on the boat. When told by the coast guard to get back on the boat and help he came up with more excuses than Julia Gillard explaining her backflip on the carbon tax as to why he thought he shouldn't. He was also questioned as to why he was on a life raft when people were still in the shit, he responded by saying he tripped and fell into a lifeboat. That's as shit an excuse as the people who try to explain to hospital staff how they got the Sydney Morning Herald stuck up their arse by falling naked onto it in the bathroom.

• MS Dhoni - as useless a skipper as Francesco Schettino. He's also had a bitch about Aussie crowds throwing insults towards Indian fielders in the arvo after they've had a few. Boo fucken hoo, in Australia we throw insults in the afternoon session, in India they throw fucken bricks, hello pot, hello kettle. What a scoundrel.

• Sam Stosur - as one Chad reader put it " She's the Shane Ellen of tennis ". She kicked her 5 goals when winning the US Open, and then as with Ellen, as Sam has gone back to the tried and true - down the shitter.

• The SA Liberal Party - FUCKEN BANG! That my friends is the sound of any remaining credibility for the state Liberals going down the s-bend. And why may you ask, well if I was to tell you that Georgina ' anoerexic pretzel, wife of philandering fweddy, going to have to bury her in a Y-shaped coffin, seen more knobs than a locksmith ' McGuinness has been employed as a speech writer I reckon you've found your answer. Quote a Liberal Party spokesperson - "Georgina brings a wealth of knowledge to the office having been a newsreader for more than 20 years". So she can read a fucken cue-card, still better than Warren Tredrea granted, but fucken woopdy doo, is that really all you need to become a political speechwriter? I can count to ten ( which is 9 more than Stephen Rowe can ), does that mean I can take over from that miserable looking cunt Bill Evans from Westpac? You dumbfucks, the ALP has been gifting you the next election for an eternity, and you go and shoot yourselves in the foot by appointing that tart. Have you learnt nothing from the ALP's ridiculously unsuccessful, but funny, Nicole Cornes experiment, you don't employ dumb wives of ex-Glenelg players. It just doesn't work. What does she bring to the table - crabs? You don't need a scraggy looking scarecrow in your political sphere, you've already got Vickie Chapman. By the looks of Isobel Redmond she likes her ciggies ( the tell-tale sign is the crinkled puckered cats arse lines around her mouth. Have a look next time she does a press conference, and wait for the Liberal rhetoric cat turd plopping out of her gob ), but obviously she's on the strong green stuff if she thinks that's a sage appointment. I know you don't like to announce any of your policies ( presumably because you don't have any ) publicly, do you think Georgie will be able to sugar coat your shit and make it sound like an idea? Isobel, you've fucked up, not just MS Dhoni bad but Francesco Schettino bad. Get ready for this act of stupidity to bite you on your saggy old arse. Fair dinkum how fucken rooted is politics in this state, the ALP are a fucken disgrace and should be hung but the Liberals keep letting em off the hook. And what's the alternative - Bob Such? Go and get fucked.


• An un-named Crows veteran with allegedly the initials MD who allegedly not only thumps his wife, but takes his frustrations out on his pet dogs. What a cunt.


• Serbian tennis fans - fair dinkum, they are retarded in-bred cunts, and those are their redeeming features.


• Acland Street in St Kilda - what a fucking over-rated joint. A couple of cake-shops and the rest of the street crawling with heroin addicts and assorted cunts. Christ, it is on the coast and ya can't even sit down for a feed of fish and chips. No dramas in getting a fix of fucking junk, though.


• Brighton Beach in Melbourne - fair dinkum, another over-rated Melbourne "icon". A cunt of a beach. Sea-fucking-weed, brown sand, brown water and a row of fucking painted sheds. Big fucking deal. Give me the stretch from Aldinga to Sellicks Beach any day - it actually has white sands and clear water.


• Fat, in-bred families lurking the streets of Geelong, Horsham and Nhill - for fucksake, it is like walking onto the set of Nightmare on Elm Street meets the Biggest Loser.


• Kiosk in Eastern Beach in Geelong - for charging $18 for a piece of fish and a serve of chips. Maybe they are trying to discourage the fat in-bred fuckers that beach themselves there from getting any fatter.


• The 12 cheerleaders who woke up with tourette-syndrom-like tics and verbal outbursts - well wouldn't you be swearing like a fucking trooper if you had to cheer on Port Power?


• Khloe Kardashian - apparently OJ Simpson could be her paternal father. OJ won't have to take the usual paternity test, no, he'll just have to submit to the glove test - if the rubber doesn't fit, then Khloe's his kid.


• George Lucas - he's retiring from Hollywood, "disillusioned" with the industry. Thank fucking christ but it's a decade too late, after inflicting fucking Jar Jar Binks on the world.


• Kevin Rudd - for having a new blend of tea released on Australia Day. Fuck off, dickhead, how about doing something really Australian like releasing a new meat pie or beer. Wanker.


• The Wiggles - for bringing back the original Yellow cunt, Greg Page, because the other yellow cunt wanted a bit bigger slice than his existing $200k out of the $28 million the pricks make each year. You dodgy old greedy cunts. Plus, for fucksake, ya cunts are all way too old to be prancing around on stage singing kids songs. Jeff, it is about time you headed down to Acland Street in St Kilda and took something that ensures that you never wake up again.


• Kodak - for filing for bankruptcy. Now that is a Kodak moment.


• Julia Gillard - just because I haven't nominated her for a while.


• Andrew Wilkie - fucking soft-cock has rolled over and compromised on his Pokies's legislation. You cunt. You got voted in for a reason so fucking stick to it. Pathetic.


• Ricky Nixon - for losing his driver's license for 2 months for driving unlicensed. What the fuck? How can he lose his fucking license if he is fucking un-licensed?


• Cunts who wear lycra that shouldn't be - come on fellas, give it a break. Ya look like deadset dickheads.


• Serena Williams's arse - TV does not do it justice. It is fucking massive. I mean, fucking huge.


• Scientologists - how the fuck anyone could get mixed up with this mob of freaks is beyond me. All religion is fucked but this aint even a religion - it is a cult now led by a crap midget actor (Tom Cruise) with supporters including a crap fat actor (John Travolta). Kevin Rudd looks like he could be a Scientologist. Ditto, John Rau.


• Tom Koutsantonis - fair dinkum, he makes Chad Cornes sound like a speech therapist. Fucking hell, we could have saved a couple of billion dollars of tax-payers money in building that fucking white elephant de-sal plant (funny how media reports on that have gone very quiet) and just got Koutsantonis to recite the White Pages once a year. Who voted for this retarded Greek tossbag? He makes George Kapiniaris sound intelligent.


• Jay Weatherill - you are just another Mike Rann in a conga-line of snout-in-the-trough cunts. I don't wanna hear anymore of your smarmy smooth talk - shut the fuck up and do something to get the state out of the shit.

Summer Series Winner Week 6

The Winner of Week 6 of The Chad Medal is the 3 fuckwits who boarded a Japanese whaling vessel. Think we're a bit more important than we really are do we gents? Look at the picture they put of the cunts in the paper, standing like they're fucken war heroes. Well you're fucken not, you're a pack of fuckwits. What did you actually think you were going to achieve by boarding that vessel besides bringing attention to yourselves, which is probably what you were after in the first place. You didn't bring any extra attention to the plight of the whales, it's a cunt act what the Japs are doing and we all know it's happening, you wankers parading yourselves like that just makes yourselves and Australia look like a pack of fucken knobheads. And that hunger strike would've worked a treat, trying to make martyrs out of yourselves? You made fucken dickheads out of yourselves and that's all you did. You were never going to stop them from doing a fucking thing, the only thing you have achieved is pissing away tax-payer money to come and get you. If you're so at one with the ocean and the world, fucken swim back, I would've let the Japs turn you into fucken berley. Take your award and stick it up your fucken blowhole you cunts.

Summer Series Week 6 Nominees

• French Michael Jackson fans - about 100 of these wankers are suing Conrad Murray for emotional damage caused by the uni-gloved kiddy fiddlers death. How about the emotional damage he caused to the kids he had at the Never Neverland Ranch. It's no surprise the French embraced MJ though, just like his backwards moving moonwalk the French have excelled in retreating, from invading armies, from deodorant, from being decent humans instead of arrogant fucken pigs.

• The 3 Australian protesters who boarded a Japanese Whaling vessel - what fucken dickheads. They get on the boat and proceed to tell the Japs go away. The Japs unsurprisingly say fruck you and lock the cunts up. Larry Curly and Moe respond by going on a hunger strike. Yep that's going to have them shitting razor blades, this is a race of people who starved and tortured thousands of Aussie and Pommie soldiers to death on the Burma Railway, do you think they are going to give a fuck if you don't want to eat? And do you think they give a fuck about it causing a diplomatic issue, they're butchering whales like Glenelg butcher a finals series, they don't give a shit you fucken idiots. Then after making their ' brave ' stance and the Japs had enough of their bullshit and told em to fuck off, the cunts want the Aussie Government to spend thousands of TAX PAYER DOLLARS to go and rescue them. That's my money being pissed up against a wall to rescue 3 cunts who we should've paid the Japs to make fish food out of.

• Tina Marion Riechfeldt, Garry Paul Reichfeldt and Kathleen Modystack - plead guilty in court this week to committing bestiality. Most people have had the odd stage where they've been a bit hard up for a root but fucken hell what sort of sick cunt roots animals. Graham Cornes I guess.

• INXS - what number lead singer are these pricks on now? Just quit for fucksake, you're turning into a bigger joke than Coldplay. Next lead singer - Peter Andre

• Jon Blake - pissed and moaned because his slapper of a missus was asked to kindly change her top as she was causing people to spew up their food in a hotel restaurant. Fair dinkum no one wants to see an overcooked pigs trotter in a see through top, think yourself lucky they didn't call the pound.

• John Riddell - quit his radio gig on Mix102.3 because he didn't want to get up early in the mornings anymore. Or was it because they shitcanned your request for more dough you bald headed chicken fucker? Mind you how they managed to fit his head and Jodie 'Bill' Oddy's chin in the same studio is a fucken mystery in the first place.

• George Clooney - according to George his greatest fear in life is " Hurting someone " and "can't stand the idea of making another person miserable" . Well stop making fucking movies then you condescending arsewipe.

• Kim Jong-Un - The lardarse son of Kim Jong-Il and new leader of Nth Korea, and if I'm not mistaken a bloody good likeness to South Park's Eric Cartman.

• UK parents banning their kids from watching the cartoon Peppa Pig - they reckon it's a bad influence on their kids. I bet you let em watch Coronation Street and Eastenders with you though don't you you fuckwits, that's not only bad influence, it's fucken child abuse.

• Normie Rowe - For that shithouse fucken Coles ad - no added hormones. I don't know about Coles produce but old Normie's been on some serious gear, have you seen the cunt? I remember when he got into the dustup on the Ray Martin Show and he looked like Davey Crockett, now the cunt looks like Ellen DeGeneres, hey Normie - no lezzo hormones.

• Foxtel - gave Rove a second season. Two words - drive-by shooting.

• Jason Donovan - for announcing a comeback. First song on his new album is " I'm on the drugs that killed River Phoenix ". Fair dinkum who would be retarded enough to give that tone deaf junkie another go, maybe INXS.

• Westpac, Commonwealth Bank and ANZ - have all announced they will be cutting staff despite posting very fucking tidy profits for the last year. I wonder what their CEO's will be paid to sack all of these poor cunts.

• Tiriel Mora - Dennis Denuto from 'The Castle' was convicted of assaulting his missus whilst on the piss watching last years AFL GF. He gets nominated for two reasons, he's a pissweak cunt for giving his missus one, and he must be a fucken Collingwood supporter cause everyone else thought last year's GF was fucken hilarious.

• Malcolm Fox - has offered to settle a compo claim lodged by the victim of his busy hands. He also has decided not to appeal his conviction. Hang on Malcolm, I thought you said you were innocent, I guess the fucken Possum Magic has worn off.

• Ben Cousins - cooked himself again then went arse up in rehab and did a Molly Meldrum. Fucken space cadet.

• Tour Down Under wannabes - yep I'm talking to you cunts who are 25kg+ overweight and pour yourselves into a shockingly inappropriate lycra outfit once a year and think you're a tour De France contender. Stay the fuck off the road and stay the fuck out of my way. I'm gonna start driving with a broom in my car for the next couple of weeks and when I see these cunts riding 5-6 astride taking up the road I'm trying to travel on I'm gonna ram it in their fucken spokes.

• Teresa Bambaro - Federal Opposition Citizenship Spokeswoman who apologised for saying immigrants should be taught the importance of wearing deodorant and waiting in queues without pushing. Don't fucken apologise, you told the truth.

• Peter Charles Deering - sex offender who has spent the last 30yrs in Glenside Hospital is apparently a shell of his former self and thus his lawyer wants to move him to a nursing home. How about we make the cunt a corpse of his former self and move him to a six foot hole in the fucken ground.

• Jeffrey Drew Wiltschke - US frootloop who recently changed his name to Beezow Doo-Doo Zoppitybop-Bop-Bop was arrested by police after complaints of his excessive drinking and drug-taking near a park. Didn't know Ben Cousins had rellies in the US.

• The US Republican Party - 'Baseball' Mitt Romney, 'Pissed as a' Newt Gingrich, Ron Paul 'Jeremy'. 3 of the main contenders for the Republican Party's nomination to challenge Obama. Why not put Ronald McDonald and the fucken Hamburglar in as well, fucken Americans.

• Anthony Worrall - 'star'of the UK version of Ready Steady Cook has been pinched for shoplifting from Tescos five times over the Christmas period. Ready Steady Cook not Supermarket Sweep you fucknut.

• Justin Beiber - " I want to be someone who is respected ". Good luck with that cunt, you've got as much chance of that happening as Malcolm Fox has of becoming a primary school teacher

• Bendigo Hungry Jacks - fined $46,000 after they "volunteered" to pay back $104,000 to staff, mainly junior employees. Ripping off young kids who are getting $6-$7 an hour, and they were wondering why people were complaining of phlegm pickles in their whoppers.

Summer Series - Week 5 Winner

The winner of week 5 of the Summer Series of The Chad Medal is our old mate Kevin " I'm a victim " Foley. Surprise surprise Roly Poly never took his snout completely out of the political trough after his exit from politics, he was merely going up for air before he gorged himself again the fat cunt. He didn't waste any time at all in becoming a Government lobbyist, which is like putting Malcolm Fox in charge of a childcare centre, a fair dinkum cunt of an idea. After years of doing his utmost to convince people he was a decent, honest person ( which no bastard believed anyway ) he again fucked up by proving once and for all he is a dishonest, shonky, filthy piece of shit who oozes all the charms and graces of Fred and Rosemary West. How about lobbying for an independent inquiry into the ethics of appointing a former Government Minister to a cushy, well paid job advising the same Government he just left in a fucking shambles. Or perhaps an inquiry into the sexual harassment of young females by drunken, slimy, overbearing, egotistical old cunts in nightclubs. Perhaps an inquiry into the amount of times a drunken, slimy, overbearing, egotistical old cunt can get his fucken head punched in before he realises it's not the world's fault it happens, it's his own lewd, lascivious, fucking idiotic behaviour that causes his problems. Inside politics or out, you're a slimy piece of shit Kev,that's why you won the award this week .I'm going to lobby that someone presents you with the award around your fat fucking head in the dunnies in a Gouger Street cafe.

Summer Series - Week 5 Nominees

• Department of Human Services - apparently they have served 192 Departure Prohibition Orders on parents because they have failed to pay child support. If they are really serious about being vigilant on this how is it that Tony McGuinness still manages to get through customs? Nail Fweddy for all the extras he's sired and not taken ownership for and their numbers would double. Imagine the amount of short, lithpy little Fweddy's walking around wondering where dad is, and wondering why it's so hard to order a steak sandwich with sauce without drowning the poor bastard behind the counter.

• KFC - for their fucking fresh test ads. They are shit. And how about getting some current Australian cricketers to advertise your product not useless cunts like Cameron White, David Hussey, Steve Smith and Mitchell Johnson. Cameron White is struggling so badly that he even dropped the fucking chicken wrap.

• Adelaide Street Preachers - after annoying the shit out of people in Rundle Mall these pricks now feel the next to bail people up on trains and spew their rhetoric at them where they can't get away. And the Government are trying to encourage more people to take public transport? Bring back the old Red Hen trains so if you get one of these arseholes dribbling shit at you you can just open up the door whilst it's moving and kick the dickhead out. What is it with Christians? They are supposed to forgive and forget. But they are the biggest cunts in the world. Catholics, Anglicans, Baptists, Mormons, fuck, if they are not trying to tell us what to fucking think and say and watch or listen to then they are a busy molesting kids. How about we evoke Ezekial 25 17 from Pulp Fiction and do a Samuel L. Jackson and blow the fuckers away.

• RAA - "Rest easy knowing you're covered no matter where you are 24/7". That is of course unless you are stranded outside Roxby Downs on a dirt road and they feel they may damage their vehicle getting to you, in which case, tough shit you're on your own.

• Parents of kids getting burnt by 2min noodles - apparently the Womens and Childrens Hospital is getting a kid a week admitted with burns from 2min noodles. Hmmm, let's see, the ingredients are the noodles and....... BOILING FUCKING WATER! Geez who would've thought that could cause a problem. I'm not a doctor but I would have thought an easy way to prevent such events occurring is to let it cool down before serving, fuck me there's an idea. For fucksake, parents who allow their kids to be burnt by fucking noodles need to have Ezekial 25 17 evoked.

• Jamie Oliver - after spending the last few years telling people to eat healthier,the bloated cow tongued cunt has had his 30min meals book slammed for the amount of recipes it has that are about as healthy as gnawing on a stick of lard. Luvly jubbly, my arse, you porky pommy fuckwit.

• Cameron Borgas - had a 'ramp shot clinic' in the Sunday Mail. How about you concentrate on getting some shield runs after numerous years of failure. I reckon we should hold a "deadset fuckwit clinic" for Cam and talk through how he has been a consistent non-perfomer in a team that has done less than sweet fuck all for over a decade. Deadshit.

• Aussie blokes too scared to donate sperm - an IVF rep said there was only 2 or 3 blokes who gave up the baby gravy last year, causing Aussie women to import spoof from the US. Just go to Canberra for christsake, you have Federal Parliament and the largest porn warehouse in the southern hemisphere, there would be wankers fucken galore there. What the fuck is going on with blokes these days - wanking used to be a national past-time. Just ask Kevin Foley, Mike Rann, John Rau and Fat Pat Conlon - these blokes are constantly on the fucking stroke.

• The Southern Suburbs fish and chip employee who put caustic soda on chips instead of salt - hehe fucken dickhead, you'd like to think they would put the two things in separate looking containers, no use in putting the names of the ingredients on the containers, Adam Cockshell can't read. Still, it is better than the fucking "tartare" sauce that the shop serves up - the IVF would be fucking happy.



• The dickhead who ended up in hospital after eating the caustic soda laced chips - apparently Ron Fuller isn't happy. He was even less happy when they forgot to add in their famous tartare sauce.

• People who think Michael Clarke is fucken God because he scored 300 - yes he did fucken well, but it was a flat deck against an opposition who were more concerned with trying to sell mobile phone plans to the crowd than bowling and fielding. It's one dig and everyone is now willing to forget all the fuckups he'd had. Some cunts have memories like fucken goldfish. And don't forget that no cunt wanted to sponsor the tosser's bat either. Let's face it, not even his own team-mates like him. His own dad doesn't like him.

• The Vodaphone Viewers Minda Fucken Pollsters - got a choice of 3 digs - Clarke's 329no, Lara's 277 or Steve Waugh's four off the last ball of the day ton - as the best seen as the best at the SCG. And two thirds picked Clarke. It's nice to know Lara Bingle still has the time and dexterity to vote whilst copping a pounding from blokes she's picked up at the Redfern bus stop.



• Alan Border - for hosting Foxtel's new excrement of a show, Cricket Superstar. Come on, AB, surely you don't need the money? Some of the contestants include Graeme Wood, Andrew Sincock, Sam Parkinson, Joe the camera man, and Hansie Cronje.



• Kevin Foley - going straight into a role as a Government lobbyist. You fucking dog. Well, since you are lobbying the government, can you go into bat for me, and tell Jay Weatherill to cut stamp duty, stop people getting fined $150 for jaywalking, stick the fucking de-sal plant up ya arse, not to build a hospital on a toxic waste dump, and arrange a public execution for Eugene McGee. You are a cunt, Foley.



• Brad Haddin - fuck off. You're glovework is worse than Michael Jackson's.



• Sarah Burge - the 51 year-old UK woman who gave her 7 year-old daughter a $10,000 liposuction voucher. Ok, I can understand if the daughter was Amanda Vanstone but for fucksake, what is the world coming too - how about stop feeding ya kid bacon and chip sandwhiches.



• Nickelback - finally the world is waking up to the fact that they are evil. Black Keys drummer, Pat Carney, has been quoted as saying Nickelback is responsible for the death of rock n roll. Here, fucking, here. I have pitched a new show to Channel 10 whereby Chad Kroeger is released and a group of contestants hunt down and kill him. Once that job is completed, Lady Gaga is then released and the same fate awaits her. Episode 3 stars Amy Winehouse. Oh, wait, that job has already been completed.



• The US Navy Seal who accidentally shot himself trying to impress a woman - is that how they got Bin Laden, some redneck US commando was trying to get a root and the bird says to him, "I''ll root ya if ya get get Osama, baby."



• Mitt Romney - what sort of name is Mitt? The next fucking President of the Universe is going to be a fucking baseball glove.



• The US - for taking 12 months to select a Republican candidate. Who gives a shit. They are all just a bunch of fuckers who will start another fucking war against a nation that they have supplied with antique fucking weapons. Fair dinkum. It is all bullshit, this US election process.



• Heinz - for closing down a Victorian sauce factory and moving it New Zealand. For fucksake, New Zealanders can't even pronounce "sauce" let alone make it.



• ABC Grandstand - for employing former NZ medium-pace "bowler", Danny Morrison, as a commentator. If I want to listen to a fucking retard commentate on cricket I'll give Scosa a call.



• Chinese restaurants in Canberra - apparently their mushroom meals are to die for.



• State Government - can someone fucking explain why they are selling the state's forests? Has someone got a finger in the pie? It stinks. Come on, Jay, I dare you to grow some balls and do something about it.



• Federal Government - for trying to brand Anzac Day. Fuck off, Julia. This is a sacred day so keep ya big fucking nose out of it. We don't need one of your stupid fucking slogans.



• Ethan Bedford - little fucker from Seaview Downs who named Michael Clarke as his all-time favourite cricketer in the Tiser. You little shit, you'll get a visit from Peter Liddy if you keep that bullshit up.



• Steve Besagni - for naming Graham Gooch as his favourite all-time cricketer. Dickhead, the question was favourite cricketer, not hairpiece.



• Father Tony Kennedy - the Tasmanian Catholic priest has called for Woolworths to remove the crosses from their hot-cross buns. Let's make a deal, fuckwit, if the Catholic Church hangs all the priests that have molested kids, then Woolies will remove the crosses.



• The 18,717 people who bought a Mitsubishi Lancer in 2011. Why, for fucksake? It is a piece of crap.



• Millsy - quite ironic that he's hosting Young Talent Time when a) he is not young b) he has no talent and c) the only time he is known for is the time he shagged serial slut Paris Hilton.



• Kiyoshi Kimura - for paying $715,000 for a bluefin tuna. For fucksake, you idiot, ya can pick up a tin of SAFCOL tuna for under $3.



• Randall Putz - for advertising the Adelaide Trader. For fucksake, who would listen to a bloke who's last name is "Putz"?


• Australian fast-bowlers - they breakdown more regularly than a Leyland P76. Harris, Cummins, Johnson, Bollinger, and now fucking Pattinson. It is about time these cunts stopped training and did what Merv and Warnie did and spend less time in the gym and more at the local pub and fast food joint.

The Chad Medal - Summer Series - Winner Week 4

I'll keep it this weeks winner's rant short and concise, rather like the obvious lack of education and upbringing of the winner. The winner of the award this week is the dickhead who tried lighting his BBQ with petrol and then tried extinguishing the flames with his hands. Fair dinkum you've gotta be a braindead fuckwit/coach of Port Power to be that stupid. Firstly to try to light a barbie with petrol, for one it's a fucking expensive way to do it, and two it's just out and out fucking retarded. What do ya want on your snags Bill? Fucken unleaded thanks mate. All that's gonna do is cause a fucken inferno and attract unwanted indigenous visitors with the fumes. And secondly, why the fuck would you try and put out a fire with your hands? Unless your name is Johnny Storm, aka the human torch from The Fantastic Four, you're gonna get fucken crispy real quick. So the fuckhead from Qld has won this weeks award, maybe they can get KFC to replace your mutated hands with some crispy strips and a couple of zinger burgers you fuckwit, they'd still be in better nick than Neil Kerley's mitts.