Week 15 nominees

• NAB Cup - it has as much meaning as winning a game of bingo at the Enfield RSL.


• Michaelangelo Rucci - for more anti-SANFL drivel. His article with the headline "SANFL paints the town red" was a crock of shit - the reason the SANFL lost money last year is because they had to bail out those terminal fuckwits, Port Power. You're a dickhead, Rucci, plain and simple.


• The Redbacks - failed to win a game during the Sheffield Shield season yet still insist on playing never-was-beens from interstate like Aiden Blizzard, Adam Crosthwaite and Theo Alphabet.


• Thorpey - next time you make a comeback it might help if you didn't wear those fucking gay FMBs in the pool.


• Lady Ga Ga - is thinking about having a long media hiatus. Don't think, do!


• Huuge Bosse - the cunt has not stopped laughing since getting a hip replacement three years ago. After the operation, his wife gave him a video, Luke Jarrad's greatest hits.


• Don McLean - the inspid prick is considering retiring. For fucksake, hurry up, will ya. Fucking bye bye American Pie, do us all a favour and keel over a die.


• Electricity prices - SA's will soon be the most expensive in the world. That is right - number one in the world. Hey, Paul Keating and John Bannon, you dogs, you forced privatisation upon us. Got anything to say? Arseholes.


• John Kenneally - fair dinkum, no wonder Blakey quit 5aa. You are the most boring cunt I have ever heard on radio. Do you really think anyone wants to hear another fucking bar of Billy Joel's Piano Man or anything by fucking ABBA? Fuck me. Throw into the mix Keith Cockhead and Jane Doyle and you have got the aural equivalent of constipation. And who's idea was it to give Tim "The Chin" Ginever a gig on radio - he's fucking worse than that golliwog Tim Noonan.


• Warren Tredrea - could become the new John Kenneally. Fucking boring dick with ears.


• Andrew Demetriou, Jason Mifsud, Stephen Trigg, the Media - don't let the facts get in the way of a good story, fuckwits.


• Michelangelo Rucci - when are you and The Chad having your civil ceremony to marry, you two cunts. Fucken hell, the way Rucci still promotes the fucken human sprinkler makes you wonder if he spends as much time on Chad's dick as Molly Meldrum does on Jeff the purple Wiggle's.


• Jeff the Wiggle - Wake Up, Jeff, Molly wants a crack at your feather sword.


• The Chad - whilst being interviewed in The Chadvertiser spoke of how he enjoys being at GWS because "It's great to come somewhere where you're actually wanted and respected". Excuse me while I fucken get a tissue, I'm sure the same thing applies when you walk down Oxford St in Sydney with your arseless chaps on. He also said about his sheepdog brother Kane " I think he deserves a lot more respect than he's getting here at the moment", he might get respect if he wasn't such a self-indulgent cunt, somewhat like yourself.


• Bernard Finnigan - where are you fatboy? You'd have to be happy, these days you can also buy pizza, grog and groceries online. Isn't it amazing what you can find online if you want to look?


• The State MP charged with accessing child pornography - the number and severity of the charges have tripled. Wonder if he also orders pizza, grog, and groceries online?


• Ben Cousins - Benny, when the doctor in rehab told you to give drugs the arse, he didn't mean to shove them up ya jatz cracker!


• Jack Snelling - apparently the hobbit is a keen amateur boxer. He is also a keen amateur treasurer too.


• Kevin Foley - just another reason to turn off 5aa.


• Jason Downie - a couple of bullets will fix this evil little fucker.


• Animal activists - for being outraged that a pig was given breast implants. The pig in question, Lara Bingle, hasn't complained.


• Labor party focus groups - fair dinkum fuckwits. The latest group was paid $370,000 to suggest that we should not celebrate the centenary of ANZAC Day in 2015 because it might offend immigrants. Let's see how offended these immigrants would be if the Nazis ruled the world and the cunts ended up in a gas chamber. Donate that $370,000 to the families of soldiers lost in Afghanistan, you fuckwits.


• Peter Slipper - the cunt loves to don a robe but rocked up to an official function at the Coulandra RSL in jeans. Show some respect, fuckwit.


• The Hunger Games - what is all the fuss about? Isn't it a movie about Karen Carpenter?


• John Tomic - ejected from the tennis for heckling his son. Sure his last name isn't Dokic?


• Glenelg Traders - for calling for a new cinema to be built at Glenelg. You fuckwits, ya just knocked one down to build more fucking useless shops. Dickheads.


• Donna Cooper - the "law expert" has suggested that divorces don't need to be nasty. What the fuck is the point of getting a fucking divorce then?


• Tom Kenyon - stupid is as Kenyon does. What a fucking plonker. Minister of Science? Pig's arse, more like Minister for Silly Walks.


• The Gay and Lesbian Christian Conference - fuck, that conference ticks all the boxes.


• John Keneally - jesus, I really have to stop listening to 5aa. The retard has suggested that Adelaide should build a monorail from the airport to the city and that an flat escalator should be built between Victoria Square and Adelaide Oval. For fucksake, isn't that an episode of the Simpsons?


• Former US President Dick Cheney - the cunt had a heart transplant. Didn't know he had one in the first place.


• GWS v Sydney - zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Great Waste of Space.


• Kelly Vincent - for suggesting that taxpayers fund sex workers for people with disabilities. I know Wayne Swan is a fucking mongo but I'm pretty sure the cunt is married and doesn't need a taxpayer funded root. Ironic though because the cunt is going to fair dinkum root taxpayers with the carbon tax.


• People who refer to "sex workers" - they are called fucking whores, for fucksake.


• Monique Jeffrey - the poor bitch sneezed and broke her neck. Shit, that is bad luck. When I sneeze the only thing I normally break is wind.


• Advertiser - for putting up Studley Cornes as a potential celebrity premier. That would certainly guaran-fucking-tee that I would leave this fucking state. He does has one good suggestion though, to save the Murray he'll get his sons to recite, "she sells sea shells by the sea shore".


• George Mancini - lawyer for serial kiddy fiddler, Laurence O'Shea. For arguing that the "harshness" of his client's harrassment in prison should have led to a suspended sentence. Fuck off, the "harshness" of his crime should have led to him being suspended from a fucking tree.


• The Pope - pictured in a fucking sombrero. A different look to his usual ku klux klan outfit.


• AFL - for allowing James McDonald to get rubbed out for 2 weeks for a beautiful shirt front.


• Anna Bligh/Qld Labor - FUBAR. Very funny. They should keep playing that surfing song, "Wipeout".


• Demetriou - in the words of one reader, for just being a cunt. Can't argue with that.


• Jason Akermanis - he has become so irrelevant that he needs to make poorly timed comments about Jim Stynes. You are a dickhead, Aker.


• Dermott Brereton - picked Hawthorn to win the flag. That is a big surprise. Give that cunt a line in the sand, or preferably a hole to bury him in. The fucker has had more work done on his face than Mount fucking Rushmore.


• God - either he is a fucking cunt or he doesn't exist. The death of Jim Stynes proves that. Any Christians out there care to debate me on this?


• Cancer - what a cunt. It knocks on Jim Stynes' door but has left cunts like Jason Downie, Eugene McGee and Laurence O'Shea alone. There is no justice.


• Queensland surfers - for fucksake, you would think they would learn to swim before trying to surf. Ok, that was a bit below the belt...


• Titanic 3D - does that mean it will be as three times as crap as the first time it was released?

Summer Series Winner Week 14

No nominees this week, straight to the winner. Both Laurie Holden and The Chad Editor have had a gutful of all these politically correct cunts who try to impose their will through whiny, mis-informed rhetoric dumped upon the masses. Well we've fucken had it. Obviously in this day and age you can't be honest because you might upset someone. Go and get fucked, no cunt will dictate to me what I can and can't say for fear of upsetting someone, I have a basic human right to an opinion, you don't have to like it or agree with it, but I have the right to express it. But that's exactly what these PC fucknuts would like, everyone living in harmony with noone saying naughty things about each other - tralalala. Unfortunately the world doesn't fucken work that way, everyone in the world is prejudiced against someone or something, EVERYONE. That's a fucken fact. So to try and differentiate between one person's right to do or say something over anothers smacks of Big Brother, ever read '1984' cunts? I am not advocating Nazi style chants by any means but the basic freedom for all to voice their opinions, the very freedom you cunts are trying to take away. Yeah everyone has the freedom of speech, as long as you don't say too much. Go fuck yourselves. With this in mind The Chad Editor and Laurie Holden have proposed the creation of a new political party, The Fuck Off Party, led by Kevin Bloody Wilson. It's policies include:

• Fuck off do-gooders
• Fuck off corrupt politicians
• Fuck off gutless judicial systems
• Fuck off dole bludgers
• Fuck off political correctness
• Fuck off immigrants who make no attempt to assimilate into society
• Fuck off cunts who hide behind/exploit the law to keep them out of jail
• Fuck off lawyers who try to keep some of the animals they defend from getting their just desserts
• Fuck off kiddy fiddlers
• Fuck off people murdering innocent people in the name of religion
• Fuck off cunts on the road who speed, tailgate and drive off their faces
• Fuck off officials from sporting organisations who try their utmost to fuck up their code
• Fuck off deadshits who blame everyone but themselves for them being a fucken dropkick
• Fuck off all religions who claim to follow their God's will, then go and do the exact opposite or turn the other way when one of their flock commits a heinous crime
• Fuck off cunts who light fires that kill innocent people
• Fuck off namby pamby fiddle fucks with zero guts
• Fuck off anyone that is just a complete fuckwit be you a Dole Bludging Aussie with 12 kids from 13 different fathers, Whinging Pom, Potato Crunching Paddy, Abo, Kraut, Smackhead, Arrogant Yank, Porn Loving Swede, Currymuncher, Wog, Eskimo or fucken Ganja Smoking Jamaican.

So this is our proposal, and these are a few of our policies. As long as you're not a fuckwit we don't care what colour, race or creed you are, just don't be a fuckwit. It's that simple. Of course that would exclude these PC cunts who want to impose themselves on society, which is good as they are the quintessential examples of fuckwits and therefore ineligible for membership, but more than worthy winners of The Chad Medal. If anyone doesn't like it, well, fuck off.

Summer Series Week 13 Winner

It was a close fought contest for The Chad Medal this week, despite the hypocrisy of that weasel cunt Andrew Demetriou using the word unethical to describe someone besides himself he just missed out in favour of Richard Kleinig and Stephen Trigg. Ex-judge and total fuckwit Kleinig wins the Eugene this week for his statement in The Sunday Mail that Eugene McGee's actions in killing Ian Humphrey were negligent not criminal. What is not criminal about running a man down then absconding before the police turn up without making any attempt to see if the poor bastard he ran over was ok. He just left him to die on the side of the road.Add to that his knowledge that he fucked up and his attempts to get his lawyer mates to help him cover his arse both straight after the event and later in the proceedings and that adds up to a criminal cunt of an act to me. If you think anything but the fact that what that piece of shit did was a criminal act you are as disgusting as McGee himself. I'll bet if it was a member of your family who was left to die by a piece of filth you would be screaming blue murder, but since it wasn't you decided to side with your fellow judicial scum. And you wonder why people have lost faith in the system, you are a cunt.

The Chad Medal for this week goes to Stephen Trigg. Over the years he has proven through his footballing career both on and off the field that he is as weak as piss ( no wonder he ended up at Sturt), and two recent incidents have further confirmed that. Firstly the Bernie Vince incident. I shouldn't have even called it an incident, it was nothing that was blown way out of proportion by a dickhead. It was a bloke having two beers and celebrating with a few mates in a private room, he did no harm and didn't cause any angst to anyone other than you Stephen you fuckhead. I, like Laurie Holden am no admirer of Bernie Vince, but what has happened to him after this is complete bullshit, and you Stephen are the cause of the real problem here. You keep pandering to the perception of how you think your club should be portrayed and see what happens to it, you will send it down the shitter with a hail of laughter from outsiders. You've made a mountain out of a mole hill and just made yourself and your club look like a softcock Big Brother.Fucken pathetic. Secondly the Matt Rendell debacle. Anyone that has met Matt Rendell and doesn't have their head buried firmly up their arse are aware that he is not a racist. Unfortunately someone has taken one line from a private conversation he had with some cunt he thought was a mate and made it sound like he was FW DeClerk mixed with Hitler. Everyone has completely gone off the deep end, and what do you do Stephen - you force him to quit, citing that he was making your club seem racist. Funny how you make your club seem like a bunch of PC, arselicking Bob Brown voters but you keep your job. When a player is pinched for racial vilification they get off with counselling and a fine, but Rendell didn't vilify anyone and you forced him out. Or was it you? You tried telling people it was your decision to have words with him but am I the only person that can smell the odour of a greasy dago behind the decision? You won't admit it was Demetriou who forced you into the decision which makes you nothing more than a fucken pissweak lackey and liar in my book. Grow some balls and make your own decisions you cunt, you're an embarrassment, and a pillow, and a more than worthy winner of The Chad Medal.

Summer Series week 13 nominees

• Gary Allen Banning - was at a friend's apartment when he mistook a jar of petrol sitting by the kitchen sink for a beverage. He spat it out and got some on his clothes, then later went outside and lit up a smoke, and promptly became the human torch. Gary, Gary, Gary is on fire, where's the fucken water, too late the motherfucker burned, Gary has gone crispy, burned.
• Bob Brown - has said he's going to hand back his Living National Treasure certificate if Clive Palmer is allowed to build a coalmine in a Qld nature reserve. These certificates can't be too fucken hard to get hold of can they if those two pricks got one.
• People who gone pinged DUI/Drug driving over the Clipsal weekend - didn't know Tony Armstrong was still in Adelaide.
• The NZ Labour Party and Greens - are blaming the government for the amount of kiwis leaving NZ for Australia. It's not the government's fault NZ is a sheep rooting shithole. Stop fucking your sisters and ewes and you might improve things over there.
• Warren Tredrea - picked 5 players he thought will retire after the 2012 season - The Chad, Dustin Fletcher, Brent Harvey, Matthew Scarlett and Alan Didak. Ya really stuck your neck out there didn't you peckerhead, the first four already qualify for the old age pension and it'll be a bit hard for Didak to play when he ends up in Pentridge.
• The Australian Democrats - are now facing deregistration as a political party because national membership has fallen below 500. You reap what you sow, that's what you get when you appoint that two faced Gareth Evans rooting sow Cheryl Kernow as leader. Don Chipp must be turning in his grave.
• The Libyan scum who destroyed Aussie war graves at Benghazi War Cemetery - on behalf of all Australians I say fuck you you filth.
• Scott Farrell - in response to the Advertiser Street talk question "does the cricket season go too long? " replied "Yes,way too long. Kick cricket out of the footy grounds". Which grounds might that be you fucking dickhead - the Melbourne CRICKET Ground? The Sydney CRICKET ground? The Western Australian CRICKET Association Ground? The Adelaide Oval? The Gabba? So kick cricket out of Etihad, Sydney Football Stadium and Football Park, I'm sure they'd shit themselves.
• Andy Mac - in response to the same question as the above mentioned fuckwit answered " I agree because it clashes with the footy season. What will they do when Adelaide Oval is being used?". The only reason footy and cricket seasons are clashing is because footy keeps extending their season numnut, and if footy needs to use Adelaide Oval during cricket season - stiff fucking shit.
• Bam Margera - Jackass 'actor' who was walking down Hindley Street with a woman when the woman's ex approached them. Bam thought he would be a smart arse and gave the guy lip, which wasn't the greatest move as the guy gave him a fuck flogging.
• Vladimir Putin - won the Russian presidential election in a landslide, coincidentally the same same thing he buried his opponents under.
• Janaka Basnayake - Sri Lankan who tried to set a world record for the longest time being buried alive, was buried at 9am. At 4pm people started thinking this is going a bit too well and dug him up finding him unconscious.He was rushed to hospital and was pronounced DOA. David Copperfield this cunt ain't.
• Kurt Power - was only sentenced to 15 months imprisonment with a non parole period of 4 months for downloading kiddy porn and filmiing people in his house in the toilet and shower. The judicial system is fucked, they should have hung this piece of shit out to dry.
• Kevin Foley - used his pig vomit column in The Sunday Mail to unleash a tirade about the Teachers Union, incidentally who he also appropriates blame to for forcing him out of public office. That's only going to get them more support fuckwit, and if you're going to write a column about everyone to blame for your political career going down the shitter how about doing one about yourself you fat sleazy cunt.
• Facebook - This one comes from one of our readers, about time some cunt got off their fat arse and contributed. "I would like to nominate Facebook. The biggest invasion of privacy ever made. You can't scratch your balls without some cunt taking a photo and uploading it. It reduces your children to mono syllabic zombies with the attention span of 15 seconds. It has infested so many sites you can't block it without totally fucking up the rest of the internet. A total piece of shit". Dead fucken right.
• Ex Judge and current fuckwit, Richard Kleinig - for arguing in a total turd of piece in the Sunday Mail that Eugene McGee was negligent, not criminal. Oh, go and get fucked. No wonder the justice system in this state is fucked with douchebags like you running the show. So fuckwit, you think it is perfectly ok for Eugene to run down an innocent bloke while allegedly pissed and then leave the poor bloke to die on the side of the road? So fuckwit, do you think it is ok for Eugene to immediately ring all his scumbag lawyer mates to work out a plan of action so he could then evade the police for 6 hours rendering a breath test useles? I'd like to hear your answers to those two questions, ya dickhead. No doubt you would do the usual lawyer crap and answer the question by quoting some obscure law dating back to the 15th century in London. Fuck off.
• Kym Morgan, Matt Turner and Duane Schultz - for their excreable piece of fiction that was published in the Messenger, "The SANFL Top 50 players". Surely this was a piss-take. James Allen at number 1 - hahahahahaha ah hahahahahha. Luke Jarrad at number 5 - no stop it, fellas, my ribs are hurting! Wait, it gets better - Jordan McMahon at number 30 - hohohoho oh, shit, this is comedy gold. But the best is yet to come - Leigh Ryswyck at 36 and Mathew Duldig at 40!! You have got to be fucking kidding me!!! And to rub salt into the wounds, the pricks have rated Brett Zorzi at 49!! Duldig is a better footballer than Zorba??? He'd win a fucking hot dog eating contest against Zorba but that is all. Go fuck yourselves, Morgan, Turner and Schultz - your credibility is less than zero, wankers.
• Stephen Trigg - you fucking ponce. I'm no fan of the Crows, in fact, I hope the cunts finish bottom 2, but all this hullabaloo over Bernie Vince dropping his dacks in the front bar of the Stansbury Hotel after his mates won the local cricket grand final is the biggest load of shit I've ever heard. Yet, Miss Trigg jumps down off her fucking high horse to tell us that Bernie's behaviour is unacceptable, it's silly and stupid. Fuck off, idiot, it is called being a larrikan, a true blue Aussie trait that is fast being rubbed out by namby pamby nob jockeys like yourself. I suspect that Triggy has bad memories from his days at St Peters College when Father John Mountford liked to pull down the dacks of the boys in his class, only Father John wasn't celebrating a cricket victory, but it did have something to do with balls and a stump. And what about Michael Doughty throwing his two bob's worth in? Jesus, Doughty, you have some hide, I'd suggest that if the stories about you giving your wife and pet dog a flogging are true, then you should just shut your fucking trap.
• Chloe Fox - Minister for Transport Services. Talk about a fucking oxymoron. Chloe, you a full of shit. Stop talking with that fucking plum/cock in your mouth and do something - don't talk, do! The Adelaide transport system is up shit creek, even ya mum has written some kid's books about it, "Barry the Bus Was Always Fucking Late" and "Trevor the Tram Was Chockablock Full of Smelly Cunts".
• Caritas K - a joint venture between Port Power and the Catholic Church mission to raise awareness about the plight of children overseas. How about you fucker's start with all the kids that Catholic priests have serially molested over hundreds of years. Fucking hypocrites.
• Bob Carr - when sworn in as the new Foreign Minister, Kevin Rudd squealed, "fuck".
• Jack Snelling and Adelaide Zoo - for their "misunderstanding". No misundertstanding from my point of view, you are both deadset fuckwits. Forget duck hunting season, let's have a panda hunt.
• State MPs - for voting themselves a 2.9 per cent pay rise. How about you arseholes go on performance-based contracts?
• Phar Lap - for having a really crap posture whilst on show in a New Zealand museum. Straighten up, fuckwit. Black Caviar is giggling at you.
• Bernie Finnigan - where the fuck are you, Bernie? I'm waiting for you to pop up on Celebrity Biggest Loser. Or possibly Play School.
• Wayne Swan - fucking commie bastard.
• Julia Gillard - see Wayne Swan.
• Bob Brown - see Julia Gillard. And Rock Hudson.
• James Packer - for donating $250,000 to Bob Katter. For fucksake, how many fucking hats can Bob buy with $250,000?
• Claims that meat can cause premature death - Lara Bingle has decided to cut right back on cock, she has now left one hour a day cock-free.
• Kyle Sandilands - no surprises to find he hasn't read a book since Year 8. I was more surprised to find that the cunt actually made it to Year 8.
• Kyle Sandilands - the fuckwit is going to release an autobiography. Fuck, that is going to be a quick read. I saw the manuscript when I was wiping my arse last night. Chapter 1 - I was born a cunt. Chapter 2 - I grew up a cunt. Chapter 3 - I am still a cunt. Chapter 4 - I will die a cunt. Riveting. No doubt there will be a whole stack of other c-grade celebrities following suit. Can't wait for the Rob Mills memoir, "Young Talent Time - I Fucked Paris Hilton and Johnny Young." Or Sonya Kruger's, "I Sucked A Lot Of Cock To Get Where I Am." Lara Bingle has threatened to sue over the title of that one. And what about Tracey Grimshaw's much anticipated life story, "Pony Club."
• Kim Kardashian - for taking offence at actor John Hamm's claim that she is "a fucking idiot". Spot on, Kim, you are not a fucking idiot, you are a fucking cunt.
• Penny Wong - Finance Minister. What the fuck? Does a background as a lawyer and ex-root of Jay Weatherill qualify you for that position?
• Jay Weatherill - to steal a line from George Negus, Jay must be a dud root to turn Penny into a rug muncher.
• Amanda Blair - how come it took you so long to quit radio? And 5aa, please tell me the rumour that Kevin Foley is going to get the gig is not true? I thought we had seen the end of that cunt once he quit politics. But fucking Sunday Mail has given him a gig and we don't need 5aa to give him more air-time. Ante Grigic, I've got a little job for you.
• Courtney Love - for saying that the Muppets have raped the memory of Kurt Cobain for their cover of Smells Like Teen Spirit. Fuck off, wench, you raped him while he was alive, no wonder the cunt topped himself. Find yourself your own shotgun and do us a favour.
• Andrew Demetriou - for describing Optus as "unethical". Pot kettle black, fuckwit. Look at what you have done to the SANFL and football in general - you are more than happy to walk away with a $2 million souvlaki in ya greasy hands. Prick.
• Fitch Credit Ratings - for revising Greece's credit rating from "fucked" to "up shit creek".
• Maroon 5 singer/ponce Adam Levine - for releasing his own line of perfumes less than 12 months after posting this quote on Twitter, "I would also like to put an official ban on celebrity fragrances. Punishable by death from this point forward." Electric chair or lethal injection, Adam? Fuckwits that put out shit music should also be punished by death - Move Like Jagger, how about Move Like Whitney, fuckwit.

Summer Series - Winner Week 12

There were two contenders that stood out as leading fuckwits for the Eugene and The Chad this week. The winner of the Eugene is Rick Santorum, Republican candidate, sleeveless 'Harris Scarfe' sweater wearer, Bible-Bashing Christian cockhead, holier than thou ignorant fuckwit. Fair dinkum, Obama doesn't need to do anything at the moment with fuckwits like this in opposition. Old Prick outdid himself recently with his comment regarding Obama's statement about how he wants everyone in America to go to college. The fuckwit made the comment "what a snob". I''m sure if Obama was to provide a retort to this it would be "what a knob". Yep, what a terrible thing if more people were educated, wouldn't it be terrible if more people came to realise pretentious, Jesus spouting religious fuckarses like you should be kept as far away from public office as possible. You're a fucking joke you clown, you're going to get knocked off in the race for the Republican candidacy by a cunt named Mitt for fucksake.

So that brings us to the Winner of The Chad Medal - Summer Series for this week, Pope Benedict XVI. What a fuckwit. He presides over possibly the most hypocritical establishment in the world, The Catholic Church, an establishment that preaches peace and goodwill to all man yet has a long and sordid history of human rights abuses and intolerance. To give you some idea of the man that is the Pope, here's a quick run down on the man himself.

Born in 1927 in Bavaria he did fuck all of interest up until 1941 when he joined the Hitler Youth, a group who if I'm not mistaken were a goose stepping pack of anti-semetic little arseholes. According to his brother, the Pope ( who obviously wasn't called that at this early stage but I can't be rooted reciting his full name every time I mention the fucken old turd ) was an " unenthusiastic member who refused to attend meetings " . Yeah righto, ahhh bullshit. I saw The Sound of Music as a kid, those little Hitler Youth cunts fucken loved it. In 1943 he was trained in the German anti-aircraft corps, and later the German infantry . Starting to sound a bit like a little Austrian bloke with a bad temper and one testicle missing who was sniffing around at that time. In 1945 he showed he wasn't too keen on this fighting business as he deserted his post when the allies started getting a bit too close. So even at this early stage he sounds shonky, doesn't fuck or fight.

After a spell in a POW camp ( the allies weren't fooled ) he rejoined a seminary he had attended before the war put a dampener on things and in in 1951 he was ordained a priest. His recollection of the ordination goes as follows " at the moment the elderly Archbishop laid his hands on me, a little bird - perhaps a lark, flew up from the altar in the high cathedral and trilled a joyful song ". Elderly clergy laying their hands on young people, doesn't sound familiar at all does it. From then on his life for the next 40 odd years consisted of being a theologian, professor, and god sprouting toga wearing kraut, all boring shit that you don't want to hear about, trust me I read all about it and it bored the shit out of me. God blah blah, no don't confess that we'll cover up your crimes you child molesting cunt blah blah.

In 2005 he became the Pope. He took the name Benedict after an Italian Pope who served the role during WW1, not a great shock with his penchant for running away from an incoming army that he took the name of a bloke that came a country with the military prowess of Gomer Pyle and courage of Daniel Wicks under a high ball. Almost immediately he continued the image of the Church as being an out of touch, insular pack of fuckarses in respect to their approach to kiddy fiddlers in the clergy, contraception, IVF, AIDS, world affairs, and a general intolerance and lack of acceptance of different religions, cultures, and their customs. Don't believe me? Check out some of these pearlers the old cunt trotted out:

• Lifted the excommunication of a Bishop who was an outspoken Holocaust denier. Even the krauts throw you in the can for that these days. Not a great shock though considering the Vatican helped some of the perpetrators of the Holocaust escape justice.
• In reference to Islam he commented - "Show me just what Muhammed has brought that was new and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached''. Not an untrue statement but a bit fucken rich coming from the Catholic Church. Ever read that big boring book they call the Bible? It's full of Catholics slaying people in the name of God, I saw a doco a little while back about Joshua and you don't reckon he smote the fuck out of people, women, kids, you name it.
• With regard to Native Sth Americans he said that the native populations had been "silently longing" for the Christian faith brought to Sth America by colonizers. He also said "the proclamation of Jesus and his Gospel did not at any point involve an alienation of the pre-Columbus culture, nor was it the imposition of a foreign culture". Fuck off you wanker, you know what the colonizers did to Sth America? Rape, pillage and plunder and smote the fuck out of anyone who disagreed with their thinking. Yeah I'll bet they would have been silently longing to be murdered or have their whole way of life torn away from them you cockhead.
• Called on people to discover ethics in business and economic relations. Ethics, the Catholic Church telling other people to discover ethics, hahaha you're fucking hilarious.
• Said "Adolescents, youths and even children are the easy victims of the corruption of love, deceived by unscrupulous adults who, lying to themselves and them, draw them into the dead-end streets of consumerism". Sounds a bit like your mob, just substitute the last four words of that statement to say "pervasive filth and hypocrisy that is the Catholic Church"
• Whilst Pope was accused in a lawsuit of conspiring to cover up the molestation of 3 boys from Texas, but sought and obtained diplomatic immunity from prosecution. Got something to hide?
• Is vehemently against couples using IVF to conceive children as it's "the arrogance of taking the place of the creator". If the creator was so fucken good why did he not bestow upon these people the power to conceive naturally, what's his fucken point in teasing these poor bastards, many who would make excellent parents. Answer - God is a cunt.
• In 2010 promised to change in the way sex abuse cases are dealt with. He also promised to introduce measures that would "safeguard young people in the future", and "bring to justice"priests responsible for abuse. So that coverup in Texas, do you think justice was served there?
• In 2010 used the example of male prostitutes , that condom use, with the intention of reducing HIV infection, may be an indication that the prostitute is intending to reduce the evil connected with his or her immoral activity. No. I'm pretty sure they're trying to stop themselves from dying. And anyway, aren't you the mob that consider Mary Magdalene to be a saint? If I'm not mistaken she was a fucken prostitute!

So if you were in any doubt why the Pope won the award this week, there's your evidence. He peddles his word in the name of the almighty, in fact all he peddles is a pile of hypocritical shit. For a bloke who wrote an encyclical in 2009 called 'Caritas in Veritate' or 'Love in truth' ,it's a pity he doesn't follow his own teachings. Take your award and fucken choke on it.