The Chad - Week 10 nominations

• Tim Lane - for saying in the first quarter of the Bulldogs v Geelong game, "the days of dominance for Geelong are over". Good call, dickhead, the Cats then kicked the next 13 goals and went on to win by 101 points. The best call since Bill Clinton said, "I did not have sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky".
• Kerry O'Brien - for crimes against journalistic integrity.
• Brad Johnson (Western Bulldogs captain) –for shafting Aker and then proving to all that the Dogs can’t win without Aker and that Johnson himself is a liability to the team, goal hungry and about 3 years past his used by date. Very Chad-like moment from Johnno.
• Michael Birkin – Senior basketball Maggot (observer) for the ABA. Michael chose to defend some maggot decisions in the West v Norwood at West Adelaide (preliminary final) by stating in full earshot of all that if Norwood wanted equality in the refereeing they should have finished higher on the ladder than West, therefore fully admitting that the home team will get calls whilst Norwood won’t. Only then did he realise his Chad moment and decided he had demonstrated fully what a fuckwit he is and perhaps it would be better to shut the fuck up and ensure the maggots refereed the game fairly.
• West Adelaide Basketball Entertainment Manager – for not realising that the song “Go West” was written and performed by the biggest bunch of poofters in the musical industry being the Pet Shop Boys and the song is about poofters bending each other over. Yes those same pillow biters who make Elton John and George Michael appear macho. You could see the look of shame on the faces of the West Adelaide players every time the tosser played this song over the loud speaker. The same tosser also chose to yell “defence” into the microphone when West were in offence and didn’t realise that anyone in the crowd of 1,500 were remotely interested in making a fuckwit of themselves by yelling this pathetic chant (other than the referees who star in the fuckwit stakes).
• Luke Darcy – former AFL dud and current AFL arse licking commentator – for suggesting that Terry Wallace was no good as a coach (we already knew that Luke) and for blaming Terry for the Bulldogs not winning a flag, despite everyone else knowing their list was shit, they had over-achieved and their Ruckman (Darcy) was the biggest poser as an AFL player since……..nope, he was the biggest poser! Also for having a crack at Aker for being a distraction to the Bulldogs efforts in losing more preliminary finals! Hey Luke, Aker has won 3 flags off his own boot and a Brownlow, in case you had forgotten. Excellent effort in the fuckwit stakes by a Chad clone.
• The Gold Coast Suns - for paying Nathan Bock $600-750k pa! What a joke! They are also going to sign Nathan Krakouer - another joke. They must have a "Nathan only" rule - so Nathan Eagelton, Nathan Lovett-Murray, Nathan Jones and Nathan Van Berlo will all get a guernsey plus Nathan Buckley, Nathan Lonie and Nathan Thompson are coming out of retirement and Nathan Bracken, (as the Sun's head cheerleader), Nathan Hauritz, Nathan Green, and Nathan Jawai are all going to switch codes. Lion Nathan are going to be the major sponsor and Nathan Cavaleri will write the new club song. Nathan Rees will be club president - until he gets sacked and replaced by Nathan Strempel.
• USA - for being dumb enough to shell out $US60 (A$67) for a pair of Dunlop Volleys when you can pick up a pair at Big W for less than $A20.
• Brett Burton - for having a crack at Nathan Bock for leaving the Crows and then at the same time announcing that he (Burton) will be more than happy to get a job at another AFL club.
• Julia Gillard - queen of the fucking annoying slogan. First it was, "moving Australia forward" and now it is "yes we will" and "friends". Yes we will what? Yes we will put Australia further into debt? Yes we will let more boat people in? Yes we will talk more shit? Yes we will continue to do nothing about the Murray? Yes we will be run by factional knob doctors?
• Tony "Fweddy" McGuiness - for once again thinking with his head (not the one on his shoulders) and for being dumb enough to bonk the wife of an ex-Hell's Angels member.
• Nathan Bock - for insisting that his move to the Gold Coast is not for financial reasons. Yeah, righto.
• Julia Gillard - putting all that make-up on with a trowel will not hide the fact that you have a big schnozz and no policies.
• Neil Patrick Harris (Doogie Howser) and his boyfriend - for announcing they are having twins. Which one is the mother?
• Shaun Tait - for being a complete soft-cock and not wanting to play for Australia in the Ashes in case he breaks a finger-nail. Fuckwit. Most blokes (and Penny Wong) would give their right nut to play for Australia in an Ashes test series.
• Pepe Reina - for some textbook goal-keeping for Liverpool and allowing the mighty Gunners to escape with a last second draw.
• Bob Brown - I'm surprised he hasn't announced that he's also having twins and Penny Wong is the father.
• AFL white maggots - for consistently bringing the game of AFL into disrepute. Example - the free kick paid against Richmond's Brett Deledio for grabbing a towel off a Carlton trainer and wiping the tears off Carlton's Henderson's face after Henderson was being a smart arse.
• Matty Knights - no particular reason, apart from the fact he's a real fuckwit.
• Mark Latham - for encouraging people to vote informal. Who is more bitter, Kevvy Rudd or Marky Mark? Apparently, both will be appearing in the new Victoria Bitter ad.
• Colin Rowston - like Richard Williams, he was over-shadowed by Tony Dey early in the season but hit his straps on the weekend. According to a disgruntled judge, "he makes Des Foster look unbiased". In my opinion, Des Foster is a genius. Who can forget his spot-on call in the dying minutes of the 1978 Grand Final that helped give the Redlegs a most-deserving 1 point victory over the powder-blue poofs (ie Sturt).
• Mathew Lokan - the Krusty the Clown of the Port Adelaide Magpies, for sledging Central's Daniel Havelberg in the 3rd quarter when the Magpies were down by 10 goals and Lokan was playing like Cain Ackland (ie like a busted arse).
• Josh Thurgood - Port ranga for whinging when none of his team-mates would kick the ball to him because on the few times they did he completely fucked it up. He looks like an inflamed boil.