The Chad Week 8 Winner

Another week has passed, again littered with a plethora of Chad-worthy performances. The federal election campaign continues to throw up more than its fair share of fuckwits. Thank god there are only two more weeks left to go before the circus leaves town.

Before getting to this week’s nominations, a special mention must be made of regular Chad-nominee, Matty Knights. Despite being despised by all at Essendon, including the players, officials, supporters and even the boot-studders, Knights has somehow managed to turn the Bombers around with two consecutive wins, against all odds, and royally fucking up many punters’ footy tips. Thanks for nothing, Matty.

This week’s nominations were narrowed down to three – Julia Gillard, Julia Gillard and Julie Gillard. Ever since she knifed poor old Kevvy Rudd, Julia has been destined to win the coveted Chad. Throughout the campaign, she has been in Chad-winning form, going from strength to strength with a series of blistering performances that scream “fuckwit”. But which Julia wins? As one of the Chad judges noted, she has more personalities than Cornelia Rau. Is it Julia, the factional puppet who is “moving Australia forward”? Or is it, the “real” Julia, the one who refused to have a second debate and then changed her mind when people started noticing her Chad credentials? Or is it, Julia, proud president of the Student Representative Council? Or is it, Big Bad Bustling Julia, gun full-forward for the Western Bulldogs? Or is it, fake Julia, the air-brushed character on the cover of Woman’s Day? Who knows, but one is thing is for certain, noone is more deserving of a Chad Medal than Julia Gillard. So, congratulations, Julia, whichever one you are today, on winning this week’s Chad Medal. See Julia below accepting the award - please note, her nose as been air-brushed.