Round 16 winner

There was a very close battle for supremacy in this week's Chad. Michaelangelo Rucci proved yet again that the Advertiser is a haven for fuckwits who cannot get jobs as real journalists. It is about time Rucci passed his fucking crayon onto someone else who a) doesn't wear black, teal and white coloured glasses; b) can write an article that doesn't whinge about Port being totally crap and looking for someone to blame; and c) isn't a complete and utter fuckwit. But then again, it is the Advertiser so the chances of that occurring are exactly the same as the chances of Steven Salopek going for a hardball or Justin Westhoff successfully reciting the alphabet.
Chad Cornes almost won his own medal. Is that prick deluded, or what? He still reckons he has a lot to offer Port. Like what, fuckwit? An endless supply of dribble? Wake up, dickhead, you are finished as an AFL player. Let's hope you do not end up on radio, like your cockhead old man or vacuous sister-in-law. But the odds on 5AA hiring him once Port give him the arse are lower than Black Caviar winning a race against that great old mare, Tracy Grimshaw. Ooo, won't that be fun - the Cornes family hour, with Studley, Lucy and Chad, discussing how fucking great they are. Hand out the barf bags now.

So Rucci and Chad just miss out on a medal. So who wins. Well, it had to be Neil Craig or Craig Neil or Craig David or whatever fucking name he goes by. It is a well known fact that blokes with a christian name for a surname are fuckwits. Well, Neil has taken this fact to a whole new level. I'm sure Neil doesn't need me to tell him this, he probably has some scientific evidence to prove what a complete fuckwit he is. His nomination this week is for dropping Taylor Walker and ensuring that he will sign for the GWS (Great Whopping Shit). His reason is that Tex does not chase enough. Fair enough but using that reasoning, he should drop the whole fucking side. You're a dickhead, Neil. Walker is the only bloke who can kick a bag of goals in your so-called "playing group". Now there is another reason why Neil gets a Chad. "Playing group", "playing list"- fuck off. It's called a team, Neil. And then there are his press conferences - the fucker has made an art form out of saying absolutely nothing. And when he does try to say something that remotely makes sense, it is total bullshit, like "this is the most exciting playing group we have ever had". Wanker. And then there is the Crows finals record under Neil - perhaps only Glenelg's finals cocksmoking under Rubbers Mickan is worse than the Crows under Neil. But Craig has a long history of being a fuckwit - it didn't start at the Crows. No, it goes way back to when he left Norwood before the start of the 1980 season because he didn't want to play under Neil Balme because he wanted Micky "The Cunt" Nunan to get the job. He had a dummy spit and the Legs showed him the door. So he left Norwood and went to - Sturt! You idiot, Neil. Still, the powder blue outfit suited you perfectly. It worked out very well because Norwood won 2 flags in 82 and 84 and Sturt did sweet fuck all. They are good at that. And then you went on to play for North Adelaide, another team of nobodies and nancy boys. But in a tragic twist, you turned up back at Norwood to coach the club in 1991. What a fucking disaster that was. Five years of misery for Norwood's diehard supporters. After each game, week after week, we had to listen to that fucking squeaky, constipated voice of yours - blah, blah, fucking blah. It reached a nadir when you bagged our captain of the time and club legend, Garry McIntosh, by saying, "The Norwood football club is not Garry McIntosh." Well, it sure as fuck wasn't Neil Craig. This statement has never been forgotten by those who were at the club that day. And Neil likes to talk up his playing days at Norwood but never, ever gives credit to the hard blokes like John Wynne, Kingo Taylor, Neil Button, Tubby Turbill and the late Jim Thiel who protected him and enabled him to get a swag of uncontested possessions. You prick - give credit where credit is due. So Neil, this has been a long-time coming - congratulations on winning this week's Chad Medal. And if you have an acceptance speech organised, fuck off, we don't wanna hear it.