Round 15 Nominations

• The Adelaide Crows - for being the most exciting bunch of soft-cocks in the AFL. It was so exciting to watch them lick the boots of the Demons and then throw in the towel when it got all got too hard, 15 seconds into the match. To paraphrase Bill Woodfull, there were two teams at the MCG on Sunday but only one was playing football.



• Neil Craig - for finding new ways to say absolutely sweet fuck all during his post-match press conferences. Craigy, how hard is to say, "we were fucking soft"?



• Nathan Bracken - for being a bigger bimbo than his bimbo-extraordinaire wife. Nathan is definitely the bitch in that relationship.



• Commentators who continually refer to "unsociable football" - you fuckwits, it's called going hard at every contest, something that all players should do, shouldn't they? Unless of course you play for Adelaide, in which case Craigy requires you to tuck your freshly ironed jumper in to your shorts, pull up your nice clean socks, bow and curtsy to your opponent, before bending over and meekly surrending without a yelp.



• The AFL tribunal - for killing football. The three-match ban given to Melbourne's Jack Trengove for laying a perfectly legitimate tackle on Dangerfield has signalled the death nell for football. Fair dinkum, you get a harder contest in the National Netball League these days. It is the most disgraceful tribunal decision in the history of the game. Apparently, before you tackle a bloke these days, you have to offer him a cuppa tea and a biscuit. Fuck you, AFL.



• AFL umpires - for awarding a 50 metre penalty to a Carlton player which resulted in a certain goal because St Kilda's Kossie gave the player a spray. So you can't say, "ya mum wears army boots" anymore? Fuck you, AFL.



• Michael Voss - for refusing to change anything about how he is coaching Brisbane, despite the fact that they are 0-6, were bottom last year, and are playing like busted arses. You are a deadset fuckwit, Vossy.



• Rowey and Cornesy - for the umpteenth time. For squealing like stuck pigs because Sheeds rated Van Berlo as the worst captain in the AFL. It is embarrassing that they supposedly represent the voice of South Australia.



• Channel 10 commentator, Andrew Maher - for his fucking stoooooopid interview with Carlton's Nick Duigan after Carlton beat St Kilda by 3 points in front of a crowd of 40,000 people. The fuckwit's first question to Duigs was, "so how does it feel playing in front of such a big crowd after playing to crowds of less than 500 last year?" You complete and utter fuckwit, Maher. Duigs played for Norwood, not South Adelaide. The Legs average around 5,000 a game. And he played in the SANFL grand final in front of crowd of over 40,000. So why don't you fuck off and commentate on something you are more suited too, like the Mardi Gras. Hopefully, a string of other fuck knuckles will join you, like Rowey, Kym Dillon, Riccuito, Tredders, Dittmar, Liam Pickering, Brad Johnson etc fucking etc.



• Julia Gillard - shut the fuck up. Can't you get a voice-over bloke to replace your voice??