Round 16 nominations

• Tim Mathieson - for wanting to marry Julia Gillard. Are you deaf, dumb and blind, you fuckwit?? Still, what else can you expect from a fucking hairdresser and Frankie J Holden lookalike.



• Kevin Roley Poley Foley - for picking out the wrong guy in a police line-up. You fuckwit. Kevvie, what happened, were you wearing beer goggles at the time the alleged assault took place?



• Fat Pat Conlon - for yet another tram fuck-up. How hard is it to run a tram - fucking plug the power in and press go. Fat Pat, I hope you are not going to be in charge of the Adelaide Oval re-development.



• Umpires at the Norwood v North game - for being fucking cheats. Not only did North recieve 29 frees to Norwood's 17, but 7 of those frees were 15 metres out from North's goal, resulting in 7 charity goals. The main offender was that little cunt in white who obviously missed his ride at the Morphetville races on Saturday. Why don't you take up a career as a jumps jockey, you little fuckwit.



• Michaelangelo Rucci - for blaming Port's complete and utter ineptitude on lack of money. You fuckwit, perhaps if Port got more than 15 people to their games then they might have some cash to play with. And maybe if they didn't waste a shitload of cash on paying out Mark Williams then they might have a bit more to spend. And no amount of money can change the fact that the only people who give a shit about Port are in jail or about to be sentenced. Let's face it, Rucci, Port are a joke and wanna blame everyone else for their state of affairs instead of spending a few moments in the room of mirrors and taking a good, hard look at themselves. You should join them. You are fuckwit, Rucci.



• Planking - why don't you give it a try, Rucci?



• Neil Craig - thanks Neil for letting Norwood have the services of Taylor Walker on the weekend - his 7 goals were very much appreciated! You are an a-grade dickhead, Neil.



• Robbie Gray - for being quite possibly the laziest footballer in the history of the game. I tell ya what, Rucci, instead of paying Gray $400,000 to scratch his arse for 120 minutes each week, why not use the cash to hire a midfield coach who can put more than two syllables together.



• Dean Terlich - the Norwood mid-fielder has a new nickname, "The Arsonist" because everytime the fuckwit gets the ball he burns it.



• Mark Riccuito - for constantly slagging off the SANFL. Hey, fuckwit, have you forgotten that West Adelaide gave you the opportunity to play AFL??



• Kevin Roley Poley Foley - his second nomination this week. Well, well, well, it all comes out eventually. A court has been told that Kevvie, "confronted, accosted, and attempted to force himself" on two young women before he was allegedly assaulted on Waymouth street. So, Kevvie, you were just an innocent victim, minding your own business. You fuckwit. It's time to go, Kevvie.



• Julia Gillard - for another fucking hair-brained scheme. This time $308 million to buy pensioners set-top boxes. Fair dinkum. $308 million so old Betty can spend her afternoons watching Oprah and Dr Phil. Pink batts, anyone?



• WIN tv - for pulling the plug on the new series by the creators of Little Britain, Come Fly With Me, as it was deemed to be too offensive for country folk. For fucksake, that should mean that anything that Karl Stefanovic, Richard Wilkins, Kerry-Anne or Eddie McGuire are associated with should be ripped off air too.



• Female Basketball referee at State Championships – BASA “imported” this little Victorian slut to umpire the Division 1 Blue Ribbon event at the State Championships, only to have the little mole get lost on the way to Wayville for fucks sake – my 8 year old could find Wayville on his pushbike with his eyes closes riding backwards! She then gets to the game late, cracks the shits because the game has started without her (hello whore, it’s about the players, not you ya little inbred cousin of Kane Cornes) then proceeds to call 7 fouls to 0 against Norwood in the first 5 minutes of the game despite the Forestville “players” trampling all over the Norwood players at every opportunity. To top off her effort, she throws out a parent of one of the Norwood players for saying “that’s 7 fouls to none ref” – no shit, she stopped the game and threatened a forfeit on Norwood unless the person left the stadium! At last count the fouls were 31-11 in favour of the home team! What a coincidence that the 3 coach’s from Forestville were trying to root her at quarter time and half time!



• Plankers - what sort of fucking dildo thinks this is a clever thing to do? Attention seeking much you fuckwits? What's wrong with the tried and true pissed pursuits of knocking off traffic cones and pissing in someone's front yard?



• The NSW hunter who tripped on a log and shot himself in the leg - next time put the banjo down first dickhead



• Fred Basset - still as unfunny as Hamish and Andy. I hope the cunt who writes that shit chokes on his faber castell fucken pencils.



• Roishene Lavender-Muldoon - when asked by the Advertiser street talk if she thought the 5cent coin should be removed from circultion she replied - " Yes. I don't like it. It's small and irritating and kids can swallow it " You fucken idiot, that comment could be more justifiably applied to yourself.



• Nathan van Berlo - said Collingwood should be wary of the Crows midfield this week. Hahahahahahaha you're a funny cunt aren't you, ooooooohhhh Richard Douglas, Brent Reilly, Michael Doughty, Collingwood would be shitting broken glass you fucking numnut.



• Michael K - another pearler from the Advertiser street talk when asked if he had a marriage back up plan cried because 'gays can't get married'. You can't keep fucken Sturt supporters happy can you?


• Andrew Jarman - for complaining that noone from Port returned his phonecalls when he offered them his services. Jars, you fucking boofhead, it is no wonder - they need a mid-field coach, not a fucking arseclown who did fuck all when he coached North Adelaide and even less when he coached West Perth. If it is any consolation, Jars, Michaelangelo Rucci won't return my calls - I left him the following message, "Rucci, you retarded fucking chimp, please call me ASAP as I wish to discuss a brilliant idea I have which basically involves you shutting the fuck up." I left similar messages for Rowey and Cornesy. No response from them either.


• "Razor" Ray Chamberlain - for being a jumped up little arsewipe. The fucking wrong Chamberlain got taken by a dingo when they were a baby.


• Sturt - no specific reason this week other than the well-established fact that they are pack of deadset soft-cocks.


• Chad Cornes - for having a sook because he is not a walk-up start to get a game for Port. You fuckwit. You are too old, too slow, too often. And what's more, you have a fucking ridiculous lisp. How about putting on a bib before you open your mouth - the amount of dribble that drops from your gob would fill the Hoover Dam.