Round 9 Winner

The winner of The Chad Medal this week was a close fought battle between Graham Cornes and Andrew Hilditch. Studley was leading for most of the week in voting but was pipped at the post by digger. Just like the Bays in finals series hey Cornesy? Haha you fuckwit your time will come, anyone who spouts shit like you do will eventually get the prize. So Andrew ' Digger ' ' I'm a useless fuckarse ' Hilditch is this weeks winner of The Chad Medal.

Andrew Hilditch has been the Chairman of Selectors for the Australian team since 2006 and a National Selector since 1996/97 so you would think the cunt would have a grasp on what it takes to select a fucken team to win a game of cricket. Unfortunately 'Digger' has in recent times proved quite the opposite to the point where even a fruitloop like Michael Slater and his 23 personalities can see that he's got to go. In hindsight he should have never got the job. Firstly, he's a lawyer, so you know he's a dodgy cunt who wouldn't lie straight in bed. And second, if you have a glimpse at his test career and its untimely(?) end you would know he's as rational and thoughtful a decision maker as Charlie Sheen. Having got a reprieve as a moderate test player in the mid 80's, Hilditch began a series of idiotic hook shots which continued to get him out. Two prime examples 1) Edgbaston August 1985. It's the 2nd innings, series tied 1-1 and Australia are 260 runs behind. Ian Chappell's best mate Ian Botham bowls Hilditch a bouncer which he hits straight down the throat of 'Ron Jeremy with a perm' lookalike Richard Ellison. Even the usually reserved Richie Benaud couldn't believe what he was seeing, as soon is dickhead hit the shot he commented " Oh dear me. You wouldn't believe it, simply wouldn't believe it ". Translation - you stupid fuckwit. 2) Brisbane, November 1985 v NZ. Hilditch is given one last chance to prove he's not a fucking idiot. Result - out twice hooking Richard Hadlee to Ewen Chatfield at fine leg. Now why the fuck would you want this prick selecting your national side?

Hilditch took a gig as a national selector in 1996/97,and to be truthful, how fucken hard was it to pick a side for the next 10 years - you've got Warne, McGrath, Gilchrist, Ponting, S.Waugh, M.Waugh, Gillespie? She'll be right then. Easier to pick than Bill Lawry's snoz. There were a few interesting selections that smacked of Hilditch though - Scott Muller and Gavin Robertson just to name two. So when Trevor Hohns handed over the chairman of selectors gig to Hilditch in 2006 Australia, whilst not always consistently as dominant as in previous years, were still pretty fucken useful. With a few exceptions since then there has been a marked slide is Australian performances. Some of it can be due to a raft of retirements but some of it also should be attributed to the selection committee aka Hilditch playing rock, paper fucken scissors when selecting sides. There seems to have been little forethought in some selections eg. pick Cameron White as a specialist spinner in a test series in India when the cunt is ratshit at home and not justifying a spot, retaining players that are playing like a busted arse eg. Michelle Johnston, yet not playing players knocking on the door, eg. Callum Ferguson. Since Warne, McGrath and Langer there have been 38 players to play test cricket for Australia, that's not rationally selecting a team, it's throwing a dart at a fucken dartboard blindfolded.

Perhaps Hilditch should spend a little more time attending shield games identifying talent ( and not just in NSW ) instead of walking his fucken dog on the beach. In more recent times some selections have made me shake my head that hard it's nearly snapped off.

• - Brad Haddin was regarded by Hilditch himself as the best gloveman in the land ( which is fucken wrong for a start ) but then dropped him for the 20/20 games for Tim " next Aussie skipper "Paine. Granted it's only 20/20 pus, which was perfectly described by Gideon Haigh as "T20 is a game invented for those people who do not like cricket ", but where's the consistency and openness?


• - Just before the first Ashes test in Brisbane Doug Bollinger was told to stand out of a shield game, then left out of the first test because of lack of fitness.


• - Picked Shaun Tait for the World Cup when the pillow struggles to bowl more than two overs on the trot,then said he needed to lift when he was clearly underdone during the World Cup, point proven when the fucken sook retired after the World Cup.


• - Dropped Phillip Hughes from the test side in England after a failed test not long after he'd belted the piss out of South Africa, but then picked him for the last Ashes series when he was averaging around 20 in 1st class cricket.


• - Arrogantly picking a team for the World Cup relying on pace when all the successful teams on the SUBCONTINENT ( not fucken England ) played multiple spinners and put Dirk Nannes on standby ( another quickie) in case of injury. As Peter English on ESPN cricinfo commented - " Naturally, Hilditch also thinks the squad is good enough to win the tournament. Sadly it's 2011, not 1999, 2003, or 2007 ".


• - Shitcanned Jason Krejza after he had taken 8 for in a test in India, then did it again to him after the World Cup when he was asked to carry the spin department nearly single handedly.


• - Played Xavier Doherty for the first two Ashes tests despite his crap 1st class record and ability to bowl only flat darts ( If you wanted someone to do that you should have picked Simon 'The Wizard ' Whitlock ), then dropped him for Michael " I played with Warnie in St Kilda grade cricket " Beer.


• - Picked Marcus North for the first Ashes test even though he was hopelessly out of form


• - Picked a 17 player squad for the first Ashes test.


• - Responded to questions about Nathan Hauritz's possible selection for the World Cup ( before he got injured ) by saying " his record in India is excellent ". Haurtiz has taken 4 wickets at 70 in India in ODIs.

He's pretty good at passing the buck too old Digger. When questioned about his responsibility for the Ashes loss he responded that " (we've) done a very good job as a selection panel " and " I take responsibility for doing the best job I can possibly do for Australian cricket ". Beg your fucken pardon? You did a shithouse job as a selection panel, a panel that you are the head of you fuckwit. And you obviously have no respect for the intellect of Australian supporters ( we're not all Kerry O'Keefe's ) by wording a response that says basically that I did my job, and it's not my fault if things go down the shitter. Well sorry to say cunt it is your job to take responsibility for shithouse, inept, inconsistent, and brainless fucking decisions, being arrogantly oblivious to your responsibilities and duties and having less communication skills than Stephen Hawking with a flat battery.

So Andrew Hilditch, you have more than justified winning this installment of The Chad Medal. I leave you with this Hilditch quote when asked about his future " So it will be for someone else to tell me when I'm not required ". On behalf of all Australian cricket supporters I say to you Andrew in plain english - fuck off, you're not required, crystal clear cunt?