Round 10 Nominees

Richard Williams - one round finished in the SANFL and tricky dicky has been nominated already for a shithouse performance in the Norwood v (One?) Port game at Footy Park. Gonna be a long year for this prick and the poor suffering fans who have to put up with him.

Port Adelaide - what a fantastic day it was on saturday to celebrate the union of the Port Magpies and Port Power. Both the wharfie cunts got rolled. Now that is a great day. 1 club, one giant steaming turd. And congratulations on getting only 23,000 people there to celebrate the union, you're cooked you frontrunning fuckwits. And by the way, what an apt picture you put in your recent book reflecting the modern era, Mark Williams choking on his tie like a fucking idiot after the 2004 Grand Final, what a very gracious winner.

Sturt Football Club- oh the irony. 30 seconds into the last qtr the smurfs were up by 8 goals and proceeded to lose by 3 goals to the fucken choking specialists Glenelg. Apparently the loss was later explained by the fact that Sturt had to leave early so they could get home in time to watch The Collectors.

Sturt Basketball Team - on the same day the footballers did their club proud the Sturt ABA team choked again against Norwood in round 1 despite fielding a team a shitload over the salary cap and with 4 'NBL' players. Although as one Chad Medal contributor put it " I use that term loosely as my 8 and 12 year old kids go harder and have more talent than some of those 'Sabres' players . And 'Sabres' what a wanky name, wasn't that a deformed prehistoric cat who was stomped from existence by a bunch of large birds and lizards?". What a great day to be a Sturt supporter, fucking great for everyone else though.

Mark Williams - when asked for a character reference of Daniel Motlop he replied " he's a caring bloke ". Yeah he cared enough to give Jacob Surjans' missus a mouthful ya nugget. If you think that much of him, draft him to GWS. Go on fucken dare ya.

The Callington Recruting Officer - hope he's not getting a good quid, a 60 goal loss on the weekend would suggest he's been spending more time on the piss than recruiting.

South Adelaide - expect a crowd of 5000 to turn up to this weeks night game against North. You might get 5000 but only if you count heads not bodies. Fucken banjo music blaring at night, yeehaa.

Kevin Foley - he's had a rough trot old Roly Poly. He got belted a few months ago, Port Adelaide Mayor Gary Johannsen is after his head, both of his Port teams got rolled on the weekend and he got whacked again as well in the crapper at a restaurant. He then cries to the media asking that he be able to live his life. Whilst not advocating violence against elected officials, when you spend your time being a fat, arrogant pisshead who tries rooting 20 year olds you're going to get a backlash. It's called karma fatso.

Brad Johnson - shafted his best mate Rohan Smith for a gig on Foxtel and looks like the cunt has dyed his hair with ice magic. That silly fucken grin gives me the shits as well.

Josh Carr - his commentary over the weekend sounded like he was choking on a cock. And he gave Chad 3 votes in the Power's loss to West Coast on the weekend, go and get fucked.

Mike Sheahan - In an episode of 'On the Couch' the fuckwit was asked by Gerard Healy how it was to interview the "greatest player of all time" , Hawthorn great Lethal Leigh Matthews. Sheahan began his answer with " well I only picked him 2nd ". Who the fuck cares if you did? Shut your cakehole and fuck off back to the library where you belong.

Robert Mugabe - Zimbabwe's answer to Charlie Sheen ( getting a lot of mileage out of that cunt at the moment aren't we? ) has encouraged his countrymen to go and visit a mass grave of 640 people which he blamed on colonial atrocities. Only problem is they haven't been there for that long and were killed by Mugabe's soldiers.

The Logies - for fucksake not again, doesn't it seem like they have this shit on more than once a year? Let's celebrate the stars of Home and Away and Packed to the Rafters - what a load of pig vomit.

Tiger Airways - on top of their other sneaky little extra charges they now want to sting customers $6 to board them first. Having been fucked over by Tiger previously I can honestly say I don't give a shit if I'm the 1st or last on the plane as long as you cunts are actually going to fly the fucken thing on time and not cancel it or delay it by 2 hours, and if you do let the customer know ,not leave them to sit around with their thumb up their arse.

People's Choice Award - for some unknown reason Bunnings won best retail award recently. Obviously these people have never shopped in a Bunnings store, the service is absolute shite.

Mohammed Al Fayed - Owner of english premier league side Fulham has pissed off supporters by putting a large Michael Jackson statue outside Craven Cottage. In response to irate supporters he replied that they can go to hell or support Chelsea ( which is basically the same thing ). At least he didn't put it outside their youth academy.

Gold Coast Suns - fair dinkum how funny was that effort on the weekend. One of the best comedy acts seen since Stephen Rowe attempted to lay claim to being an AFL footballer ( mind you it was only with the Crows ), a legitimate media personality ( mind you he's only partnering G. Cornes ), or a coaches' arsehole ( mind you it's only at Glenelg).

Warren Tredrea - the giant dick with ears earns another nomination for his drivel in The Advertiser about how he believes there should be a cap on the amount of money clubs should be able to spend on their football departments and if they exceed this cap the should be hit with a 'luxury tax'. Firstly he's merely imitating the thoughts of the perpetually ignorant G.Cornes so the cunt can't even come up with an original thought, and secondly the only reason he's suggesting this is because his old club - Port - are reputedly on the bones of their arse and can't afford to spend as much as a Collingwood or Essendon. Stiff fucking shit, these clubs get to that point by making themselves a marketable commodity that appeals to sponsors and fans, who then contribute to the club financially. Even when Collingwood and Essendon weren't winning flags they were still making money because they knew how to promote their club, not crying for handouts and restrictions on other clubs. Even the camry cows are making a dollar because they make themselves appealing to people, mainly fuckwits granted, but fuckwits who put money into the club. Port are a small fish in a big pond now and still can't work out why the money isn't still rolling in, so they've resorted to squealing like a stuck pig. Karma cunts, I don't think it's coincidence that Roly Poly Foley is one of your number one fans. Try getting some of your 'supporters' to go and watch the fuckers, there were only 23000 turn up to your big we are one again wankathon last saturday. Make your own money and survive on your own or fuck off. Well done Warren, you've managed to make Dale Lewis semi intelligent.