Round 11 Nominees

• ABC SANFL commentary - for describing Port Magpies fuckarse Mark Dolling thus - " what a player this guy is, really underrated in the SANFL Mark Dolling ". He then proceeded to kick a 30m pass out on the full. Underrated? No I don't think so, I always had the belief that he had that little skill level.


• Campbell Brown - you're a hardman if you go in for the tough ball eg. like Glen Archer, not if you run around belting blokes when they're not looking, that's called being a fucking sniper.


• Altiyan Childs - X Factor winner who looks like Johnny Depp reprising Tom Hanks' role in Philadelphia has shacked up with a 15 yr old previously and when questioned about his extra curricular activities on tv fell to pieces like Glenelg in a Grand Final.


• Malcolm Blight - former footballing great turned commentator who obviously thinks the viewing public are fucking retarded and aren't aware of his affiliations to the fledgling Gold Coast team because his commentary when they are on is nothing more than someone trying to justify their decisions. He is turning into nothing more than a gravy trainer, and deadset if he keeps defending Harmichael Kunt and saying that he can play footy I and the rest of the footballing public will fucken spew. The cunt has no idea and wouldn't make the Callington side, he's the Leyland P76 of AFL footy. Blighty you're just insulting the game and it's watchers so cut it the fuck out.


• The Australian Judicial System - Eugene McGee can kill a bloke, flee the scene of the accident and go free but another guy runs over a horse and gets thrown in jail. What the fuck?


• Manny Ramirez - Tampa Bay baseball player who has continued to enhance the pristine image of the sport by following such luminaries as Mark McGuire, Barry Bonds and Jose Canseco by testing positive to performance enhancing drugs for a second time. He then did the manly and honourable thing by retiring and running away with his tail ( you don't take that many drugs without side effects ) between his legs.


• Port Power - hahahahaha One Port - One Turd


• Geelong - for only beating Port by 79 points and blowing numerous chances to thrash them by more, thereby costing me as I had money on the cunts to win 80-89. It was paying $11 too the cunts.


• Peter Goers - two bob snob who in his hot/not, in/out whatever the fuck he does in his column in the Sunday Mail rated Michael Clarke as a not because he's the 1st tattooed Australian Cricket Captain yet lauded Today Tonight for their 400th ratings win. How do you know no other Aussie skipper has got tatts, I reckon Simmo would have one on his pecker of himself, and hoofuckenray for Today Tonight, they can beat Tracy the bulldog Grimshaw's pile of crap show.


• Lachlan Clyne - 27 year old Mayor of Unley who in a recent article was shown to be a prize weasel by squealing on a mate at school for knocking off some gear and getting him expelled and running grubby smear campaigns against political rivals yet still being unable to ensure Unley Oval remains turd free for football games. He's very well suited to his area, the Sturt coaching job awaits.


• Anyone who has paid money to Mary Rodwell for counselling - Mary Rodwell is an 'alien abduction counsellor' who has taken money from 1700 gullible people, including young children. If you paid money for that shit you're not just gullible, you're a fucking idiot.


• The Logies - I'm fucken sick of the shit already, they've nominated The Circle's ( the Aussie answer to to man hating yankee show The View ) fat bird Chrissie Swan for logies in 3 categories including the coveted 'Babe, Pig in the City' lookalike category.


• Jack Riewoldt - he's been going on like a fucken porkchop the last couple of weeks has young Jack. Abusing team doctors, teammates, umpires and giving the finger to the Hawthorn bench last Friday night. He later apologised for giving the finger and said it was probably the stupidest thing he had done. I doubt that Jack, have you looked in the mirror lately and seen that fucken haircut you've got?


• Amanda Blair/Jane Doyle - for bleating on like fucken sheep about giving women the right to serve on the front-line. Equality for both genders is fair enough but there's a reason the armed forces don't do it, so they don't get tortured and raped by some fucken lunatic Taliban fuckhead if they get captured.


• Arifinto - Indonesian politician from a conservative Islamic party who passed an anti porn bill in 2008 has resigned after being caught viewing porn on his computer during a parliamentary sitting.


• Jacklyn Marie Jacobson/ Jose Blecker - American fuckwits who after letting their 22month old child go missing in the woods for 8 days have had the child and it's sibling taken away because the cunts again neglected the child and let him run away. Fucken hell brothers and sisters shouldn't breed.


• Pauline Hanson - despite leading her nearest rival by more than 6000 votes after 91% of the primary vote had been counted for a NSW Upper House seat, Pauline's done a Glenelg and got rolled. At least you've always got a career to fall back on Pauline - do you want chicken salt or plain salt on your chips?Gage Turner/Amber Umbarger - cunts who allegedly stole $130 from a lemonade stand 3 young US high school girls had set up to raise money for a 2 year old developmentally disabled boy in need of treatment for a rare intestinal disorder. You two aren't just fuckwits, you're fucking scum.

• Kane Cornes - finally the Power have acknowledged he's shite ( the fact that he has won multiple B & F's is a fucking sad indictment on the club ) and dropped him citing lack of form yet Kane won't be lining up for the bays this weekend, he'll have the weekend off to 'freshen up'. So that's how you regain form is it? Get fucked, anything to do with the fact his ego has been bruised and he doesn't want to play in a 2nd tier league?