Matthew Knights - Even now, having thankfully disappeared from the footballing landscape, old Kath Day has vowed to " break his silence "about his departure from Essendon. What is there to tell fuckwit? You were a shithouse coach, everyone hated your guts, the players wanted you gone ( how the fuck did you expect them to listen to you tell them to go for the hard ball when you yourself earned less hard ball gets than Scott Bamford and Matthew Connell combined? ) , and your assistant coaches were as good as coaching as they were at playing - fucking tripe. Retreat back into whatever fucking hole you have emerged from and stay there.
And by the way, thanks for the laughs you gave the footballing world when you stated that you would like to get back into coaching. Gave me the best laugh I had since watching Glenelg in last years final series and listening to Fev say he was off the punt and piss.
Indian Taxi Drivers - seriously if you cunts have no fucking idea where Adelaide Airport is you deserve to cop a mouthful. How the hell can you fuck that up, you can't even work a GPS? Bet you could drop me off on Sachin Tendulkar's frontdoorstep though couldn't you you dumbfucks.
Warren Tredrea - How can you be considered a media personality when you don't fucken have one? He's a fucken bright spark too, this morning he referred to socceroos Luke Wiltshire as Luke Woltshire and David Carney as Luke Carney. Very professional.
Mark Riccuito - Mr. Monotone, he's pretty exciting to listen to isn't he, the Elliot Goblet of footy commentators. Must have gone to the same media training school as Kelli Underwood.
Daniel Motlop - Mr. disciplined did it again last week after getting dropped for Port's first game for "being tardy at training sessions and treatment on an ankle injury " on the recommendation of the 27 man leadership group at the Powder.
Andrew Hilditch - Chairman of Selectors who should be strung up by his fucken nads after Australia got chucked out of the World Cup quicker than Fev at Crown Casino. So how will you wash your hands of that effort Andrew? Will you claim that like after the Ashes debacle that the selection committee did a good job? Every other team who has been successful at the tournament has relied on spin,spin and spin backed up by the odd seamer. So what did Australia select, pace pace, and fucking pace. How many times has that worked on the sub continent before dickhead? Were your selections vindicated? The selections in this World Cup were based on arrogance, bloody mindedness and outright stupidity. They still select teams on the belief that we can dictate terms to the rest of the cricketing world and the players will carry it through, well guess what Andrew we're not the best and we don't have the cattle anymore to be able to carry your fucking stupid decisions. You still don't think that you have to adapt your selections to certain situations or change the attitude of we'll be right and think that maybe the selection committee thought process may have to change as the cricketing world changes. Otherwise we're gonna get left behind ya nugget. And now I see you've shitcanned Jason Krejza, you dumbfuck, so it's his fault you left him to carry the spin attack with basically no support? Do everyone a favour and fuck off, and take your little helper monkey Jamie Cox with ya.
Sth Africa - you've got to laugh at these blokes, they are fair dinkum the Glenelg of world cricket. Again they looked a million dollars up till the qtr final against the sheep rooters when they imploded again and went down like a sack of shit. Fucken gold.
Graham Cornes - Skeletor has once again outdone himself in being a total knob by proposing a 'salary cap' on AFL teams because Essendon and Collingwood have gone out and paid for the best possible talent because "they have the money to do it ". Somehow this fuckwit still gets a gig writing for the worst newspaper in the western world, but to try and prevent business and sporting clubs using shareholder and member money to recruit the best possible people further illustrates why he is a cancer to Sth Australia and always will be. This pinhead is enforcing on the people of Sth Aust his misguided political beliefs and false sense of self worth with his bullshit about the AFL and so called Victorian bias ( 2 things cockface- 1: there are 10 teams in Victoria so why wouldn't they get a large chunk of the money, attention and focus paid to them and 2: You were born in fucking Victoria so you're shitting on your own ) . Did you run Nicole's shithouse political campaign as well? It wouldn't surprise, and isn't it funny that you blamed the media for her losing what should have been an absolute monty. Why don't you run yourself cunt, the ALP ( or as one Chad Medal contributor called them 'the communist green party' ) are kingpins in endorsing oxygen thieves and self indulgent fucking idiots.
Skeletor continues to ensure that Adelaide is the laughing stock of the nation by his constant 'everyone is picking on us, nobody likes us' fucking drivel. Newsflash arsefuck - the rest of Australia don't give as tinker's arsehole about Adelaide and never will. Only when they demolish that godforsaken Crow shithole called AAMI Stadium ( preferably with their monotone fucknut supporters still in it ) and move footy back to civilisation at the Adelaide Oval will anyone outside this state take footy seriously.
Renae Lawrence - convicted drug peddling bushpig Renae Lawrence has made a new life for herself in prison by embracing Balinese language and customs. She has earned the title 'daddy' from the other inmates supposedly for her guidance, leadership blahblah bullshit. More likely she has been called this because the other inmates probably think she's a fucken bloke. And Renae, embracing Balinese custom doesn't mean you have to dress up like an Asian Ronald McDonald.
Guinness - anyone with an ounce of a taste bud knows this is the nectar of the gods but the cheeky cunts have started changing their product. The 400ml can now only contains 4.1 standard drinks whereas its predecessor contained 4.2 standard drinks. Through extensive and exhausting research I have discovered that the 'new' Guinness does not have quite the same taste and provides 10-15ml less head after it has settled in the glass. Cunts.
Essendon - too toot the bandwagon is leaving, all aboard. They've won one game against a team that had half its defence missing and they're crapping on like they're on the road to a flag. Sound like fucken crows supporters. Not to burst your bubble Dons fans but if memory serves correct Essendon won their first game under Matthew Knights ( can't rid ourselves of that fucken name can we ? ) by 55 points against a team that finished top 4 the year before. Enjoy your March flag, it's as close as you pricks are going to get for the season.
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