Round 4 Winner

There was no need for any nominations this week. In the words of the inimitable Sean Connery from the movie Highlander, there can be only one. And there can be only one true winner of this weeks Chad. That person is Ricky L Nixon, substandard footballer, sleazy player agent, dirty prick.

From 1983-1993 Nixon graced the football field for a total of 63 Cameron Cloke standard games for Carlton, St Kilda and Hawthorn. The most memorable part of Nixon's playing career was having a permed mullet that looked like a merino sheep.

In 1994 Nixon started the Flying Start Agency where he made a lot of money managing players such as Jason Dunstall, Tony Lockett, and Garry Lyon. He also provided sage life advice for such cleanskins as Wayne Carey, Gary Ablett Snr and Ben Cousins. We should have seen it coming shouldn't we? He also provided online education through such courses as 'How to be a Sports Agent' and received an Australia Day Award for services to sport. Reputedly he's up for another award this year for his dedication to youth services,or servicing a youth, can't remember which.

As time went by and Ricky's minions took his ideas and pissed off to create their own businesses and take his clients, Ricky hit the piss and undertook the Charlie Sheen diet regime in a bid to forget all his troubles. Unfortunately quite the opposite happened, in 2009 Ricky ended up in court for getting pissed and ploughing into a tram and then leaving the scene of the accident. After remonstrating with a passenger he was overheard saying "you'd think I'd killed a busload of nuns". The cunt's good at running away isn't he? In 2010 he was rushed to hospital after collapsing with "pneumonia". A colleague could not confirm reports Nixon had collapsed after taking sleeping tablets, probably because he was unsure if it was the sleeping tablets or the bag of blow he'd snorted.

And last, but certainly not least, in 2011 Ricky has got himself neck deep in shit with accusations he had a) had sex with the 17 year old fruitloop who Sam Gilbert and anyone with a knob has gone through and b) that he supplied her with alcohol and drugs. Ricky has admitted to visiting her hotel room 3 times ( including once on valentines day - nobody could accuse him of not being a romantic), taking her alcohol, and having " inappropriate dealings " with her but he claims "I never had sex with her ". So what have been doing with her Ricky - playing fucking Ludo? You stupid fuckwit,at least we know what the L stands for in your name, LIAR. You would have been better off coming clean and facing the music, but just like the drink driving incident you ran away like a Sturt player near a hard contest. Why do you think Ireland's the best place to go, they fucking hate you, you're well known there as a "prick" and "the antichrist" for trying to pinch the best Gaelic players.

So Ricky, you are undoubtedly the most deserved winner of this weeks Chad Medal. I leave you with a quote from Nixon from some time back which shows that maybe the cunt should follow his own advice - "When a player makes a mistake, the first thing you do is you've got to understand your mistake and you've got to apologise for it . . . . you've got to tell the truth".