SA Department of Transport - for their exemplary maintenance of the tram system. The air conditioners don't work and they've resorted to writing speeds on the speedometer because they don't fucking work either.
Men who wax their bodies - unless you're a cyclist/swimmer or the like where it provides a performance edge,you're a self indulgent fucken ponce. And further to argue against this ridiculous trend you need to look no further than WWF's George 'The Animal' Steele. He was as hairy as chewbacca but he remained at the top for years. Ditto Venus Williams.
Christopher Pyne - "The only people I want to annoy are the Labor party". Well you've fucked up there sunshine, you're a smarmy,mincing little poof who's annoyed Labor and Liberal voters. Greens are undecided as their leader makes Christopher Pyne look like Angry Anderson.Ever seen Bob Brown and former test umpire Steve 'if I give you a mintie can I fiddle with your arse'Randell in the same room together?
The Bronx Zoo - for selling the naming rights of their Madagascar hissing cockroaches as Valentines Day gifts. Fair dinkum, besides Matthew Newton who's going to think that's an appropriate gift?
20/20 cricket - not only is 20/20 bastardising the game, it is now mocking it by trying to Americanise it and turn it into as one scribe put it "Gangsta style".It is bad enough that this format of the game has extended the careers of duds such as Ian Harvey.Other ludicrous suggestions to fuck it up even further are to make the domestic teams wear lime green and pink uniforms.What the fuck, who's sponsoring the next installment - fruit tingles?
Tony Armstrong - Crows pillow who seems to think that he is God's gift to the world despite having displayed all the footballing talent of John Rombotis. Hey Tony when does the next bus leave?
The AFL rules committee - for their constant interference with the rules of the game. You don't need to change the rules every year just to justify your salaries, just give the umpires a chance to get the original rules right you fuckwits. Last to touch the ball before it goes out of bounds gets pinged for a free kick, to quote Jim Royle - "my arse".
Julia Gillard's make up artist - who's the Picasso responsible for pencilling in her eyebrows, Mr. Squiggle? It would be rather apt if this was true as their noses are dead ringers for each other. Bill Shorten is a bloody good match for Bill the blackboard too.
Celebrity Gays/Lesbians who think it's chic to adopt a child - why do such luminary rug munchers and Pooshute pirates as Doogie Howser, the ranga from Sex and the City and Elton John seem to think this is the latest great accessory to cart around.The poor bloody kids are going to grow up watching nothing but Will And Grace and Ellen and listening to Candle in The Wind ad fucking nauseum.
The SA redbacks - the Washington Generals of Australian cricket. The district system is a joke,hence there are fuck all decent players being produced. As a result SA has taken to importing predominantly 2nd rate shit players from interstate who haven't made the grade with their native states ( remember Alan Wise anybody?), and are as likely to make it in first class cricket as Kane Cornes is to complete an interview without drowning the interviewer.Yeah they won the KFC family bucket ( woo fucken hoo) but they're on the bones of their arse in the 50 over comp and are fucken rusted to the bottom of the Sheffield Shield table.Hey Jamie Cox, Harvey Jolly do you stupid cunts remember the Sheffield Shield? That's the comp the selectors ( hey that's you Jamie you dickhead) choose the test team from not the domestic version of back yard cricket.Got a name for the SA franchise next year you ignorant dumbfucks - The SA Claytons - it's the cricket team that's not really a cricket team.
Shanta Sreesanth - the petulant little weasel who was once slapped by Harbajhan Singh and cried once again proved his Chadness by acting like a complete fuckwit in the recent World Cup warm up game against Australia. After a verbal stoush with Ricky Ponting Sreesanth outdid his normal liarliar pants on fire taunt by holding his hand up to his forehead in an L shape as if to signify Ponting was a loser. This coming from someone who wears a headband trying to imitate Dennis Lillee but looks more akin to Olivia Newton John.
Barnaby Joyce - drove his $95,000 Landrover into NSW floodwaters then got stuck,scratch one tax payer funded $95,000 Landrover. Landrovers are not amphibious vehicles fuckwit.
Telstra - axing 114 call centre jobs from jobs Moe and relocating most of the jobs to the Phillipines. This is Australia calling - from fucking where cunts.
Peter Costello - The former Federal Treasurer,former no.1 ticket holder at Essendon, and constant runner up in the Federal Liberal leadership race ( he's the Glenelg of the Liberal party) has earned his nomination by launching a tirade at Afl players and clubs by inferring they only do community work to promote themselves and their clubs. He also went on to state that 1) parents would "quake in fear"at the thought of players visiting their daughter's school ( only if they play for St Kilda fucknut) 2) footballers are not chosen for their moral principles ( and politicians are?) and 3) "what are the clubs thinking when they send them to schools to give guidance on life skills" ( so what would you suggest, send a miserable,bitter old cunt who was born with a silver spoon up his arse instead?)
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