The winner of this week's Chad stands out like a big fucking nose on a ranga. In fact, the winner of this week's Chad is a fucking ranga with a big fucking nose - Julia Gillard. Fair dinkum, just when you think she can't stoop any lower, she fucking well does, this time by orchestrating the so-called Australia Day "riots". The media was quick to jump all over the footage of poor old Julia being rushed out of a restaurant in Canberra that was surrounded by "rioting" Aborigines, with a posse of Federal Police ably assisted by BA Barracus and the rest of the fucking A-Team shoving her nose first into a waiting divvy van - unfortunately her arse is so fucking wide she got stuck in the exit of the restaurant and all fifty of the coppers had to drag her out, nose-first. And then poor Julia tripped over her nose and lost a shoe in the commotion. Normally it is Cinderalla who loses her shoe but in this case it was the fucking ugly sister. Quite apt really because it turns out the whole event was a fucking fairytale, concocted and set-up by Julia and her spin doctor. Yes, Julia's chief spin doctor allerted the stooges at the Tent Embassy that Tony Abbott had made some disparaging remarks about the Tent Embassy and that they could find Tony at the restaurant if they wanted to come over and give him some shit. Obviously, Julia thought she could embarrass Tony while at the same time garner some sympathy for herself. Well, it worked initially, with the media goons sucked in as normal - talk about a bunch of lazy fucks. Laurie Oakes was too busy chowing down a whole cow to notice.
However, it quickly went pear-shaped for Julia when someone from the Tent Embassy spilled the beans on radio that it was Julia's man that had tipped them off and had told them that Tony said the Tent Embassy should be torn down. True to form, when confronted with this allegation, Julia lied through her fucking teeth, initially denying any involvement - but the fact that her nose grew a couple of inches overnight quickly allerted people that she was once again telling porky pies. Funny, she has a made an artform about being caught telling fibs. When she started in politics, she had a button nose - today it resembles a fucking scud missile. Mr Squiggle would be proud of that honker. For fucksake, we all know politicians are fucking lying cunts but Julia doesn't even attempt to hide the fact she's lying - it is blatant as the fucking nose on her face (ok, enough of the nose references). And to rub salt into the wounds, you would think that after the "traumatic" events of Australia Day that Julia would take some time out and try and make amends and deal with the situation - but no, she had her big fucking snout (ok, just one more nose reference) right in the trough with front row seats at the Australian Open. I don't know what was more fucking infuriating - seeing her fucking ugly mug smirking on the telly or hearing those two moles squealing like porno stars taking it up the jatz cracker. Fuck me, this bitch has some hide. She makes Mike Rann seem not quite as big a cunt - nah, I take that back, he's still a massive cunt, she is a just a bigger one. And what shits me even more is that the Australian public think she is so fucking crap that they would rather have Kevin Rudd in charge! Ya fucking what? Have you fuckwits got a memory?? The reason that nob jockey got knifed by Julia and her backroom boys was that the Australian public thought he was an arrogant cunt - and they were spot-on, he is a jumped-up little fucking turd who knows fuck all except how to jiggle a fucking tea-bag. Wake up, people - Julia is a fuckwit but so is Kevin. The major problem is the alternative - Tony is a bit of a cunt too and those fucking dick bathers and cauliflower ears don't help the situation either. Anyway, I digress. Back to the winner of the Chad Medal. Julia wins this week's medal in a fucking landslide. Andrew Wilkie has gladly agreed to present Julia with the medal along with a $50 voucher to play the pokies at the Land of Promise Hotel. Punters at the Land of Promise have asked management to dispense with the usual female traditions at the front bar and have banned Julia from flashing her puppies upon entry - noone wants to see that (I've just been sick in my mouth thinking about it). You're a prick, Julia - bash the medal up ya arse.
No comments:
Post a Comment