For week five of The Chad Medal in hiatus I give a you Peter Roebuck and his recent 'encounters' to the tune of Van Halen's Jump. And before you say that's in poor taste, I'm aware of it and respond by saying when has this blog been anything but? So if you don't like it, get fucked.
Laptop's up, then Peter scrolled down
Met on facebook, then invited him round
Then Roebuck, yeah, he went for a feel
He tried some poo punches, and tried to make the guy squeal
The cops have got him standing here
He's shit his pants and his face has gone green
His rep's gone down the latrine
So he thinks good night Irene
Eh, might as well jump, jump!
Might as well jump
Go ahead and jump, jump!
Go ahead and jump
Hey cops, see that?
Time to intervene
Watch out below, watch below
Air Roebuck taxiing in
The cops can't see him standing where
He and his guilty conscience have been
If he knew his wrapsheet was clean
He wouldn't have fled the scene
Instead he went jump, jump!
A vertical long jump
Tried an air ski jump
That's gotta leave a bump
Peter went jump, jump!
Then he went thump
Six stories down clump, clump!
Bowled middle stump
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