Intro

The Chad Medal is a prestigious medal awarded to the fuckwit of the week. It is named in honour of one of the world's bona fide fuckwits, Chad Cornes. The public are free to nominate anyone they feel is deserving of winning the Chad. Nominations must be submitted by Friday 12pm each week and an esteemed panel of judges decides the winner.


Monday, November 5, 2012

Round 29 Nominees

  • Russell Wortley - the fucking muppet had his shagpile snout well in truly in the trough  - $50,000 for a ten day jaunt around Europe on the Trans-Continental gravy train.  I though this state was fucking broke?  How is that Burnside Council Report going, Russ, ya dog turd?  And only a fuckhead would name their kid after Che Cockatoo-Collins.
  • Jersey Boys - fair dinkum, if I fucking hear one more bar of "Sherry", every one of the squeaky-voiced cunts will definitely not be walking like a man. And big girls don't cry, they play for Sturt.  Or are the CEO of the Crows.
  • Aaron Edwards - the serial fuck tard gets shickered at the Cox Plate a week after being signed by Richmond. A tiger can't change its spots.
  • Richmond - fuck, they know how to pick em. 
  • Jason Gram - arrested for breaching a restraining order.  The alleged victim, an AFL premiership, says Gram has been stalking him for his whole career but Gram refuses to accept she will never be his. 
  • 5AA's John Keaneally - for playing fucking annoying music grabs everytime the station returns from an ad break.  John, you boring sack of shit, noone wants to hear 10 seconds of Billy Joel's "Piano Man" or ABBA's "Dancing Queen" every fucking morning.
  • Tim Ginever - a radio star??  Fucking hell, whoever 5AA's talent scout is, he or she is a fucking minda.  First Stephen Rowe and now Chinever.  Who next?  Daryl Poole? 
  • Rhonda and Ketut - for fucksake, Ketut, take ya fucking beer goggles off.  Rhonda must be giving you one big tip.  Or is that the other way round?
  • Tanya Pilbersek - wants the threat of super bugs put on the Government's agenda.  Why not start with all the fucking white ants in the Labor Party.
  • Bernard Tomic - the new Mark Phillipousiss of Australian tennis.  Both have ties to military - one is a Scud, the other is a Tank. And what were you really up to at 3am in a fucken hottub with a male friend? Bernard Tomic? More like Bernard fucken King by the sound of it.
  • AFL players  - gambling has overtaken drugs and alcohol as their number one threat.  Wouldn't bet on it. I would have thought being drafted by Port would be far riskier.
  • Foundation for Alcohol and Research and Education - for suggesting that taxes on alcohol should rise. All these fucking tax increases are driving me to drink.
  • Gary Glitter - did the cunt ever do work experience at the Catholic Church?  Cut his nads off. 
  • Ninemsn - for yet another insightful, ground-breaking headline, "Why Kate's hair is the most envied."  Can't wait for the follow-up, "Why Pippa's arse is sore."
  • Israel Folau - the $6 million dollar man.  Worst sporting investment since Mike Rann used my taxes to suck off Lance Armstrong.
  • Andrew Demetripoo - for trying to say that the Israel Folau experiment was a success.  Yeah, ya dumb fat wog, just like the Port Power experiment.
  • Those fucking annoying family stick figure stickers on car windows - asifIgiveashit about how many fucking kids and pets you have.  It tells me one thing about ya though, you are a family of fucking Chads.
  • Kris and Kendall Kardashian - they have arrived in Sydney no doubt already sucking kock.
  • The USA - for allowing Imran Khan into the country.  But thank fuck they told that cheating fucker Sarfraz Nawaz to go fuck himself.
  • A certain Liverpool supporter by the name of the Puma who sent Laurie Holden an abusive text message at half-time of the Arsenal v Reading game when the Gunners trailed 0-4 - stupid fuckwit was very quiet when the final score was 7-5 in favour of Arsenal.
  • The Redbacks, again - for batting Kane Richardson at number 3 against Tasmania. Dickheads.  Why not fucking bring back Jim Higgs to open the batting. 
  • Disney - after buying LucasFilms are threatening to make another Star Wars film.  Nothing like flogging a dead horse to death.
  • Chrissie Swan - pregnant again.  Fucksake.  Wayne Swan is also pregnant after being fucked in the arse by the Mining Tax. 
  • Redheads - genetic scientists are saying they could be extinct in 100 years.  Fucksake, we have to wait 100 years for Julia to cark it?  Why can't she just fucking die of shame? 
  • BBC - not only have they been exposed for not outing serial paedo Jimmy Saville they've also got another 9 staff under investigation for the same thing. Didn't know the Catholic Church was involved in media ownership.
  • Halloween - stick your American bullshit up your arse.I must confess though I saw what I thought was one kid with a ripper gargoyle outfit, turns out it was Jenny Williams out for a walk.
  • Toblerone - was never a fan anyway but even less so know after the manufacturer has been busted stiffing customers by putting less chocolate in but still charging full tote odds. Mind you if you do eat that crap you get no fucken sympathy.
  • Captain Hook - Port River dolphin who has been approaching fishing boats hoping for a free feed or pinching fish from their lines. Is there nothing down the port that doesn't ask for a fucken handout?

No comments:

Post a Comment