Summer Series Week 15 Winner

The runner-up in the Chad and therefore recipient of this week's Eugene goes to Jason Akermanis for being an obnoxious cockhead. Here is an ode to Aker -

There once was a cunt called Aker

With dyed hair like a fucking fudge packer

He 's a fucking nob

And when he opens his gob

Shit flows like a steaming turd from a horse's clacker

The winner of The Chad Medal Summer Series this week is Ben Cousins. Fair dinkum what a peckerhead. Won a Brownlow, made shitloads of dough, had a lifestyle most of us could only dream of, and pissed it all away by becoming a fucking drug addict. Who can forget the pictures of Ben getting arrested by the coppers, funny stuff. Yet at the same time we were all thinking you fuckwit. And then he comes out in a docu(mocku?)mentary describing his battles with drugs and being a bonafide fuckwit. I never watched it but saw snippets on the news and my response was - yawn, isn't he dead or in jail yet, when does Family Guy start? Yet we were supposed to have sympathy for this cunt, because the demons had taken over him. Boo fucken hoo, everyone has choices in life, he chose to be a drug-fucked wanker. So be it, you made your choice, but don't expect my sympathy when your world comes crashing down around your fucking ears, which fuck me it did. But apparently I am in the minority because most people seemed to say "poor bugger, lets rally round him". Funny that if the same people saw some cunt that wasn't as well known as him in the same condition they'd turn their noses up at them isn't it? So most people believed that Ben had turned the corner, not fucken me, but most people. Then shock,horror, he fucked up again. Who could've seen that coming? But he wasn't just doing drugs, he was smuggling them up his arse for christsake to sell on to others. So now he's not just a druggie but a fucken dealer. Does he still deserve sympathy? Fuck no, he's nothing but a deadshit, and therefore the winner of the Chad Medal for this week. Ben, maybe you should change that tattoo you've got from "Such is Life" to "Such a Chad". As a tribute to the fallen star, The Chad Editor presents to you a slight rewording of the song 'Ben' by dead kiddy fiddler Michael Jackson -

Ben, time to show you the door

The juries in, you're just a dumb crack whore

Be it ice or methadone, just a Whitney Houston clone

And Ben it's plain to see, you're a bitch of the bikies

Ben, you've burnt bridges here and there (here and there)

Dumbcunt, you're not wanted anywhere (anywhere)

Look there's cops behind, to a paddywagon you're consigned

It's time for you to go, to a jail cell cheerio ( to get butt fucked cheerio)

You were a gun, once at footy

Now your cooked, on methamphetamine

(You don't get no sympathy)

(You're just a, fucken junkie)

Ben you had it all but threw it away (threw it away)

You stuffed some ice, up your fucken bombay (hershey highway)

Everyone sees you, as I do, know what you're gonna do

It's Mainwaring all over again, you're as good as toast Ben

Bye Ben

Bye Ben

Bye Ben