Round 28 Winner

An absolute plethora of fuckwits were strong contenders for this weeks Chad Medal. It's getting fair dinkum scary the amount of dropkicks that are emerging as candidates each week, the world is going to shit. The state and federal Labor parties continue to provide us with incompetent hilarity ( the only thing that isn't funny is that these fuckheads are running round sniffing their arses when they're supposed to be running the country ) that you certainly wouldn't see from the twins of pissweak, unfunny, fucking crap humour, Hamish and Andy. Kanye West delighted us with his Hitler comparison, well there is some parity, Hitler was responsible for the death of a generation of people and Kanye is responsible for the death of the modern generation of music. The Youth Affairs Council of SA presented a strong case with their whinge about the police picking on the young on the roads, you know why they do it, because they're the biggest collection of fucken dickheads on the roads you fuckwits. Steve Williams once again proved that Kiwis are fucken goons by his dribble about himself after Adam Scott had just won a tournament - I this I that, hey cunt did you hit any of the balls? Sink any putts? No? Well shut your fucken piehole then. These and many more I could name, but won't because it's Friday and a bottle of Wild Turkey is imploring me to drink it, so the judges have decided this weeks winner of The Chad Medal is the Port Adelaide Football Club. I'll provide my reasoning in point form because, uummm, well because I just fucken can.

1. Which Port Adelaide I hear you say. It's a very good point, when Port Power first entered the AFL they tried their best to distance themselves from the Port Magpies. Then they said they were one, then they didn't, then they did and I fucken lost track somewhere. Eventually they did the dumb thing and united as one, why dumb you may ask, well anyone who's had any affiliation with the other SANFL clubs hated Port with the same passion Bernard Finnigan has for dietry supplements, so after years of trying to attract these people to support the club they reminded them why the fuck would they want to join that pack of wharfie cunts. Everything about Port has always smacked of arrogance, they think the world owes them and needs them, well newflash cunts, you're a small fish in a big pond and your " We are Port, bend over and take it up the shitter whilst we do what we want " bullying routine doesn't fucken work anymore.
2. They're on the bones of their arse and are expecting people to bail them out constantly. You know why you're in the shit? Because you are fucking shithouse at running a sinking ship that should be a viable business. Fuckheads like Duncanson saying "we're not Fitzroy", yeh the AFL left Fitzroy for dead, they're bailing you fuckers out constantly. Scream all you want about the SANFL clubs taking too much money from them, poor stadium deals, not getting decent scheduling, blahblah, whinge whine, go and get fucked. The people you have in charge of your club couldn't run a fucken chook raffle and the so called supporters won't even turn up ( more about them later).
3. The players they do have have been displaying about the same spine as a fucken jellyfish. And you wonder why no one wants to go to Port, well have a good hard look at last weeks game against Collingwood, it was a fucken disgrace. You can accept if you tried your guts out and just weren't good enough on the day, you don't have to like it but you can accept it, but there is no excuse for not having a red hot go. What these cunts have been displaying is insipid garbage, weak as piss. There's no leadership so the kids are left to fend for themselves which kills their confidence and destroys the club from within.
4. Their supporters are frontrunning mindas. They yearn for the days when Port were the big fish, well now they're a rancid fucken pilchard. They're full of excuses, eg their media stooge Rucci, about their woes, both on and off field, they won't take responsibility for the shithole of a club Port has become. They're real dinky dye, through thick and thin people too, lose a few games and they run away faster than a pisshead who's just realised he doesn't have the money to pay for his taxi. It's cunts like these that crap on about the culture of Port, and how great it's been, how much better it is than other clubs. Well where are you pricks now, when your club most desperately needs you, you fuck off, you cunts are a disgrace.

So as you can see, with just these 4 points, how easy it was to give Port The Chad Medal this week. Their supporters are fuckwits, their administration is useless, their playing group is weak as piss. Well done Port, unlike the continual handouts you're getting you've really earned this award. Wallow in your own shit, I know I'll be laughing at you arsewipes for some time to come.