- 20/20 - if you didn't think this form of cricket was a fucken sick joke before how's this for a laugh, Brad Hogg has been picked for the Aussie 20/20 team at the age of 41. He's bowled fucken pies and the only reason cunts are getting out is after being mesmerised by his Jamie Oliver bloated cows tongue hanging out of his mouth as he bowls. He's dead set fucken shit and to pick him for a national side shows how contemptible this form of the game is.
- Cancer patients who continue to smoke during/after treatment - no need to perform a catscan on these fuckwits, you're obviously not going to find a brain
- Young Talent Time - for fucksake, what a load of shite. The only cunt watching it was Malcolm Fox.
- Li Na - for the biggest choke I have seen against Kim Clijsters, well, the biggest since Sam Stosur stepped on court or since Georgina McGuinness prepared for a job interview by getting down on her knees and opening her gob.
- Julia Gillard - for yet another lie/backflip/con-jop - this time screwing over Andrew Wilkie. No wonder this bitch has a nose the length of the straight at Flemington Racecourse. She has taken politicians to an all-time low.
- Sasha Rann - for complaining that property developers cut down some trees at the Avenues Shopping Centre. You fucking dumb bitch - it was your deadshit husband that allowed them to do it.
- The Queen - for charging Australian taxpayers for gifts she handed out on her recent roadtrip to Australia. Get fucked. Why the fuck should we pay for a set of fake Prince Charles ears and stuffed Corgis.
- The State Government - for refusing to release the details of $264 million worth of secret payments paid to property. Nah, we don't need an ICCAC in SA. Dodgy fucking cunts. You are a cunt, Foley.
- Fabian Francis - for being recruited by the Yatala Football Club. Who would've thought the cunt learned his craft, on and off the field, at Port Adelaide?
- Glynn Hewitt's mullet - Billy Ray Cyrus wants it back. Dickhead.
- India - a superb fighting effort in getting butt-fucked by the Aussies 4-0.
- India - for continually refusing to walk off the field when given out, despite them refusing the use of the referral system. Wankers. Absolute wankers.
- Grunters in women's tennis - for fucksake, the Azarenka v Sharapova final sounded like a fucking porn movie.
- Tom Kenyon - for not driving a locally produced car. You are a prick.
- Shaun Marsh - for being India's most dominant player during the Test Series.
- Thomas Berdych - for not shaking hands with his opponent after being hit by the ball during the match. Dickhead, you learnt pretty quickly that Aussies fucking hate whingers and bad sports - and you tick both of those boxes.
- Anthony Albanese - for getting caught plagiarising a speech out of the crap movie, The American President. Good effort, stupid. We would have allowed some cribbing if it was from something decent like The Castle or The Club.
- State Government - for allowing a Maccas to be built opposite Woodville Primary School. Hey, Mick Atkinson, you wife-bashing cunt, are you gonna do something about it or are you getting a kickback from Maccas?
- Burnside Council's Leni Palk - for this quote when instructing the Burnside Mayor not to appear before a government inquiry into corruption involving the council. This is fucking gold, "the problem with these things is you can't control the questions they are asking". No shit, Sherlock. The whole point of these inquiries is to get to the truth, but we can't have that, can we, Leni?
- Julia Gillard - for trying to act like a victim in the recent protest controversy outside the restaurant in Canberra after her own fucking people set up the whole situation. You stink, Gillard. You didn't look too stressed when you had your fucking big and ever growing snout in the trough at the Australian Open. You are an ankle. You shit me to tears.
- Sachin Tendulkar - for refusing to speak to the media during the Test Series. The Little Master, alright, The Little Cockmaster. No doubt ya 10oth ton will be achieved on Indian soil with help from some well-paid umpires and Pakistani players.
- Damian Fleming - with the way this prick bangs on about his playing days when he commentates you would have thought he was a fucking genius who played 100 tests and took 500 wickets. Newsflash, Flemo, ya cockhead, you were an average player who finished his career not playing for the Redbacks.
- Demi Moore - for being rushed to hospital for a drug overdose. A drug overdose is the least she can do for a) marrying Bruce Willis b) marrying Ashton Kutcher and c) for inflicting that piece of crap, The Ghost, on the world.
- Dallas Wiens - the Texas father is the first US man to get a face transplant. He fucked up big-time when his surgeons mis-heard him. When he said "I want a face like Pitt", they thought he said, "I want a face like shit" and he ended up with a head like Damien Peverill.
- Norwood Junior Basketball Club Committee - Peter "I Love Sturt" Roberts, Steve "Kevin Foley" Murray and Scott "Bernard Finnigan" Hann. For being a pack of pillow-biting, ass-kissing, , Church of Scientology members. Listen up, dickheads, just because your kids are shit doesn't mean you should take it out your frustrations on more talented kids playing at the club. You three have a severe case of "small dick and even smaller brain" syndrome. Roberts and Murray, ya fucked up Sturt and now you are doing the same to Norwood. You are nothing but self-loving failures who have never achieved anything in life. Thanks for doing your best to destroy a once proud club.
- B2's son - for jumping into the Murray River and trying to bomb a carp only to land awkwardly and break his foot in two spots. The carp swam away laughing. No wonder B2 looks like Paul Chapman's twin sister.
- James Wilkinson - the Melbourne teenager who died while train-surfing for describing himself as the "Kelly Slater of train surfing". I'd say you were more accurately the Peter Brock of train surfing
- Gautam Gambir - Indian opener who has bleated about Australian groundsmen preparing pitches to suit their bowlers, and has encouraged Indian groundsmen to prepare raging turners when India next face Australia over there. Beg your fucking pardon dickhead, when have Indian groundsmen done anything but prepare fucking dustbowl pitches that play flat as Georgie McGuinness' chest, low as Kevin Foley's credibility and turn like Peter Allan ( or James Allan for that matter ) in an 'all male' sauna. You're just a fucken pissweak sook because you shit your pants when a ball deviates off the pitch. And nice work saying Peter Siddle was a one trick pony, he fucked you up on a dead set road at Adelaide, you weak cunt.
- Zaheer Khan - Indian opening bowler who has showed less heart than Fiona Coote mid operation when batting this series. He was reported to the match referee ( and subsequently got off, when you run the ICC you can get away with murder, the sub-continent version of Eugene Mcgee ) for breaking the square leg umpires foot on multiple occasions after shitting his daks when an Aussie bowler bowled a ball anywhere near him.
- The Indian cricket supporter who thought it was a good idea to bang his fucken drum 5 yards from the left earhole of The Chad Editor - thankfully his team went down like Georgie McGuinness at a job interview and I didn't hear much from the prick. Fair dinkum it was fucken shite, he made Ringo Starr look competent.
- Andrew Wilkie - for being stupid enough to believe Julia Gillard would be true to her word. You dumbfuck. You should know being a politician yourself that you're all a pack of lying arseholes.
- Tony Dey - for not retiring from umpiring. It's not even time for the trial games yet and I already want to smash the cunt.
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