Round 21 Nominees

• Floyd Mayweather Jnr - is currently serving a 3 month sentence for domestic battery where he attacked his former girlfriend while two of her kids watched, and has asked to released from jail because he claims the low quality food and water are a threat to his health. Hmmm a bloke who smacks his missus round in front of the kids is complaining about food being a threat to his health, how does a giant shitburger with the lot sound.

• Mary Jo Fisher - old light fingers can't take a trick, she's been pinched for shoplifting again and still owes her legal team from her first trial 10 grand.

• Quyen Nguyen - owner of a Noodle Box store has been busted underpaying an employee $10000 and made the employee sign a 'contract' stating "I get pay amount $11 per hour and I do not complain anything about my wages". Don't think so pal, me think you stingy fuck who need pay fucking money.

• Tom Cruise - gonna go bouncing on Oprah's couch now ya missus finally came to her senses and fucked you off dickhead? Go back and have a sook with all your other fucken cult members, do us a favour an stage a WACO reenactment

• The AFL Match Review Panel - what a joke, Taylor Walker cops three weeks for a tackle that ended in him getting a fucken free kick! You watch Chris Judd get fuck all for trying to snap someone's arm off though.

• Federal MP's - have received a sneaky 3% pay rise after receiving a pay rise only 4 months ago. I don't think Mary Jo Fisher is the only thief in parliament.

• The Migration Review Tribunal - allowed a single Lebanese woman to stay in the country even after finding that she paid a bloke $20000 to marry her just for residency. Two words - fuck off.

• Guy O'Keefe - former South Adelaide player has been sentenced to 150 hours of community service for drug trafficking, to make him suffer they are making him do the time at South Adelaide Football Club.

• Woodville West Torrens - currently sitting on the bottom of the SANFL ladder. It's a shame hehehehe pigs fucken arse.

• The Olympics - zzzzzzzzzzzzzz underwhelmed anyone?

• The London Olympic Committee - have come up with two of the shittiest looking mascots you would ever want to see. They look like the end product of  Kodos from The Simpsons fucking the one-eyed bird off Futurama.

• Julia Gillard - is absolutely certain the carbon tax is the right policy to give Australia a clean energy future and it will not destroy business and jobs. If that's true why did you state that there would be no carbon tax under your government?

• The RSPCA - had convicted paedophile Dennis Ferguson working as a fundraiser for them. That's as bad an idea as having Tony McGuinness working as a phys ed teacher at an all girls high school.

• The bloke who flashed two women in Adelaide wearing a bright pink beanie and a netball skirt - apparently the offender is short, clean shaven with a slim build and a wrinkled face. James Allan is assisting police with their enquiries.

• Buckinghamshire Police - have fined a guy 60 quid for inattentive driving after he had a perve at a bird's arse.

• Essendon - for their new away strip, it looks like leftovers from Battlestar Galactica. I didn't think it was possible to make Brett Stanton look any more of a shirtlifter.

• Hawthorn - for playing Lance Franklin against GWS despite him coming off the week before with a tight hammy. The result - a hamstring injury that will sideline him for 2-3 weeks. Dumbfucks.

• Jamaican Construction Workers - whilst doing some work for a hotel by the beach full of tourists who had come to see endangered leatherback turtles they managed to drive over and crush thousands of the turtles eggs.

• Tamsyn Manou - despite not having run close to an Olympic A qualifying time, Tamsyn can't work out why they didn't pick her to go to the Olympics. She is blonde.

• The Olympic Committee - have used their discretionary powers to allow female athletes from Brunei, Saudi Arabia and Qatar to compete despite them being slower than Warren Tredrea reading the news. Hey Tamsyn, I think we've found a loophole for you.

• Olympic Dam protesters - exactly what the fuck are you protesting by having a big hairy cunt dressed up in a frock? Go and get a fucken job.

• Justin Beiber - for crimes against humanity, the cunt has to go.

• Stacy Wilson Betts - is suing Beiber for $9.2 million for hearing loss she attributed to the screaming of fans at one of his concerts. You get fucken nothing, if you were stupid enough to pay money to go and watch than prancing little cunt you deserve anything that comes to you. I would've thought that hearing loss would be beneficial at one of his concerts.

• Jon Steffensen - has claimed his non selection in the 400m at the Olympics is racially motivated. No I think it might actually be talent motivated fucknut.

• Arsenal and Liverpool Football Clubs - for their latest away strips, it looks like someone spewed up a Freo guernsey.