The Chad Medal Summer Series Week 10 Nominees

• Dr (Ricky?) Gervase Chaney - leading paediatric in an Aussie children's hospital has called for a ban to smacking kids as it is tantamount to "child abuse". Fucken bullshit, if your kid is being a right little shit and has done something which they know they shouldn't have done, the occasional smack on the hand or arse ain't gonna hurt them. It's called punishment and a deterrent. Don't get me wrong, people who belt their kids for the sake of it and do it so it injures the kid are way out of line, but there can be times when a smack is an appropriate form of discipline. It fucken shits me these so called experts think they have the right to tell us how we should raise our kids. They ain't yours cunt, don't tell me how to raise my child. I personally have never smacked my child, I've had the urge to chuck her out on the back lawn on occasions ( don't judge me, any parent being honest has had those moments ), but I'm not going to say it will never happen. The smack not the chucking her out on the lawn. There's a time and a place, as long as you are reasonable and consistent in your discipline your kid won't be emotionally damaged. So keep your fucken "expert" opinions to yourself fuckwit, we're not fucken interested.


• James Trevor Birmingham - multiple sex offender who was nearing parole has been nailed by DNA testing for the rape of a young woman in 1997 and will now hopefully do the world a favour and fucken rot in hell.


• Judge Gordon Barrett - sentenced Birmingham to 16yrs jail, reduced to 12 yrs on account of his contrition, then reduced it further to 10yrs on the legally binding totality principle. This piece of bullshit legislation states that no sentence or combination of sentences should be 'crushing' to the felon. The legal system is fucked, all this animal deserves is to be taken to the edge of a cliff and chucked off, he deserves no clemency, the crushing he deserves is when he goes head first into the rocks below.


• The England Cricket Team - the apparent no.1 team in the world lost 3-0 to the Pakis, the last test they rolled the Pakis for 99 and still got done by about 60 runs. Fucken shonky.


• Zoot - advertising mob you see on the tv flogging off gear from the supermarket who keep using talentless b-grade celebs to promote their gear. The last one I saw was Cameron Daddo selling Kelloggs Just Right. Cameron Daddo, for fucksake even his acting in a poxy ad like that was shite, having this dropkick try to explain the virtues of the product made me want to kick my fucken tv in. Watch out for the next ad, they're gonna find that fat little cunt from Hey Dad to explain why sorbent dunny paper is softer on his ringhole than other brands.


• Bargain (C)Hunt - there's nothing like watching Poms make dickheads of themselves. They get a tv show with two teams, each is provided an 'expert' to help them, and they try to buy crap they can make a quid out of at auction. Or as they pronounce it oarkshun. Well I saw an episode a recently and even I could tell the tripe they bought was as much chance of making money as a male prostitute at Penny Wong's joint. Surprise surprise both teams went down the shitter. Fucken experts my arse, just because you peer down over the top of your glasses at a petrified dog turd and say it's a masterpiece don't make you an expert, it makes you a wanker.


• Channel 9 - shitcanned the recent one-dayer between Sri Lanka and India to their Gem Channel in favour of the regular garbage they usually put on. Yep I'd much rather watch bulldog Grimshaw, fat cunts wobbling on a beach and a fucking horrid chick flick Iin fact all of which are the same thing) than the cricket. Fuckwits.


• David Hussey - still harbours ambitions to play test cricket. One small problem David, you're not fucken good enough.


• The Redbacks - tried their best to fuck up what should have been an unloseable game against the Vics. Bowled them out for 123 then were 0/48 in reply. Next thing you know they realise they might win and shit their daks, losing 6 for about 15. They managed to scrape over the line by one wicket. Now a wins a win but to fall apart like that AGAIN shows they're still as weak as piss when any pressure is applied. The fucken SA arrowroot biscuits, what a fucken joke. But the biggest joke is they're in the one-day final, so how much have the other sides been drinking when they've been playing em.


• Alberto Contador - 2010 Tour de France winner has been stripped of his title and banned for two years for doping offences but claims he is innocent. Of course you are, so were Goebbels, Goering and Salman Butt.


• US politics - an excellent example of the fucking stupidity of the nation is their system of choosing a Republican candidate to run against Obama. It's been going on for fucken months and still hasn't finished, it's more fucken dull and pointless than a Crows game.


• Saeed Ajmal - Paki offspinner who has apparently outdone Murali for having the most bent arm in cricket by admitting he flexes his elbow by 23.5 degrees, 8.5 degrees above the allowed amount. Ajmal has said that "my arm is not good because of an accident, that is why a problem ". Yeah I know what sort of fucken accident, hyperextending your elbow from carrying a heavy briefcase full of cash from a shonky bookie. The dodgy prick also said " otherwise no problem, straightaway cleared by the ICC ". This wouldn't be the same ICC that is run by the sub continent would it? The cunts arm is that bent that you could fit a set square in the crease of his elbow and it would fit as snug as a rolled up magazine around Mike Ranns head.


• Maggie Wortman - US woman who has pleaded guilty to voluntary manslaughter after the death of her six month old son after she breastfed him whilst being high as Molly Meldrum trying to climb a ladder on methamphetamines.


• Mimi Alford - former White House employee has released a book detailing how she lost her virginity to then US President JFK. So fucken what, if every tart that he deflowered or skewered wrote a book about it there's be no fucken trees left. A bit the same as if every bird Fweddy McGuinness knocked off did it. Speaking of Fweddy, anyone seen him lately? Wonder what sort of speeches Georgie will write for the Liberals in reference to Bikie Laws now that she has a vested interest in the topic.


• Madam Tussauds - made a model of 'singer' Dannii Minogue. The statue has less plastic in it than the real thing. I thought they only made models of famous or talented people?


• Eugene McGee - watching his appearance on the Australian Story only confirmed what I already knew - he is the sucker of satan's cock. What a complete and utter cunt. According to Eugene, being pissed, driving like a fuckwit, knocking over and killing an innocent cyclist, fleeing the scene and then conspiring with your cunt lawyer and copper mates to avoid being caught makes him a "victim". Fuck off you evil deluded fucker. You were drunk and killed a husband and father of 2 young children, left him to die and did everything to avoid punishment. You are a scumbag and a scatmuncher. And to ensure that you get the recognition that you deserve, I am now introducing the "Eugene Medal " for the runner-up in the weekly Chad.


• Grant "Blue Green" Algie - Eugene's fucking lawyer. Another sucker of satan's cock. You preening Barry Gibb wannabe - the fact that you are well-spoken does not change the fact that whatever drops out of your mouth (normally satan's jism) in relation to Eugene is crap. I hope you sleep well at night knowing that your buddy is a drunken coward with no morals - or is that you too? Your suggestion on the show that Eugene's fine of $3,100 was more than adequate proves that you are not only sucking satan's cock but he is taking you from behind too.


• SA Police who handled the Eugene case - joined the congo line of cunts sucking satan's cock. Nup, no ICAC is required in SA. Nup, there is no corruption in SA. Cunts.


• Professor Sandy McFarlane - see SA Police. The prick testified that Eugene was suffering from post-traumatic syndrome. Sandy, ya dickhead, is that a fancy name for "driving pissed"?


• The Grammys - for dropping a tribute to the "Big Man" Clarence Clemons in favour of a tribute to that crack-whore, Whitney Houston. Disgraceful.


• Julia Gillard - liar, liar, pants on fire.


• Jay Weatherill - the fucker should change his name to Mike Jr. What a cunt.


• Isobel Redmond - what the fuck are doing? You are letting these deadshits get away with murder. For fucksake, do something! And I don't mean getting that sex-change operation that you always dreamed of.


• Graham Cornes - for suggesting Hamish Hartlett can win the Brownlow. Good one, Skeletor, ya dickhead. Ya argument is flawed on two counts - 1) the cunt is like a fucking tampon - he's only in every four weeks and 2) he plays for a mob that polled worse than the opposition leader in the last election in Zimbabwe.


• Cunts with a "it can't be done" attitude - shut the fuck up and get out of my way.


• Bobby Brown - why the fuck didn't you get Whitney onto smoking crack before she released the worst fucking song of all-time, I Will Always Love You. How ironic, because I Will Always Hate That Fucking Song.


• Wes Welker - New England Patriots wide “receiver”. I use the term receiver loosely. (by "receiver" I think the nominator was referring to the cunt's George Michael tendancies).This little fuckwit belongs on the back of a horse running down the straight at Flemington as opposed to playing the toughest game of all. In the biggest game of the year being the Super Bowl, Welker (why the fuck is it not Walker??) dropped a perfect pass from Tom Brady that would have won the Super Bowl. But he tripped on a piece of artificial turf that didn’t exist and took choking to an art form not seen since Jana Novotna choked in front of millions at Wimbledon. Welker than manned up and “took the blame” for the loss? Didn’t have to admit it, every person on Earth who saw him drop a sitter knew the little cunt was the cause of the loss. Hopefully now he reverts to his more suited career, as a receiver in an Gay strip joint in Vegas.


• Rob Gronkowski – New England Patriots Tight EndUseless brain-dead record breaking dickwad who failed to show up in the biggest game of all because of a sore ankle, only to subsequently not rove the ball off the pack on the final play of the Super Bowl that would have won it for them. My 9 year old son could have made the catch yet the Gronk couldn’t. He was then seen after the game smiling happily on the sidelines like he was at a teddy Bear picnic eating fairy floss, and then that night caught on file dancing like a homosexual Grizzly Bear at a party in Indianapolis - what sore ankle you might ask, along with 8 million other people? This guy has the intestinal fortitude of a Crows footballer or 36ers basketballer, and similar intelligence (or lack thereof). He’s nothin’ but a cunt.


• Whitney Houston - can’t sing, can’t dance, can’t swim. Did the world a favour and died as punishment for giving us that Bodyguard song that has made us all sick for 20 fucking years! Rest in Peace – yes we will now! And I-I-I-I-I-I-I Will Always Be Dead.


• The bus-driver who installed cameras on the floor of his bus so he could "upskirt" passengers - Port Adelaide are now looking for a new driver of their team bus.


• Meryl Streep - she fears that she may be over-rated. Your fears are well-founded, Meryl, because you couldn't act your way out of a paper bag. Ya fucked-up the Aussie accent as Lindy Chamberlain and a fucking block of concrete could play Maggie Thatcher. I've seen better acting in the Italian soccer team.


• The Bulldogs Bob Murphy - for saying that gay players in the AFL is no big deal. Spot-on, Bob, there are 44 playing for the Crows and Port Adelaide.


• The NRL - has joined forces to promote organ donation. First to step up was Ian Roberts who donated his organ to referee Matt Cecchin.


• Cessnock - should be re-named "Cesspool". Fair dinkum, what a shithole. Mick Atkinson and Damian Squire would be right at home there as it is the world capital of wife-bashers.


• The man who became Britain's first "male mother" by giving birth despite his sex change operation - while the man's name has not been published, his first name is believed to be "Isobel".


• Tim Minchin - talk about fucking over-rated. The prick looks like death warmed up and that is exactly how I feel after listening to the cunt.


• The prominent SA lawyer who has been charged with possessing child pornography - no doubt Grant Algie will step-up and get the cunt off. Did the filthy prick have post-traumatic syndrome, Grant? Is he a victim, Grant? SA lawyers are evil fucks. End of story.


• The Chinese mother who gave birth to a 7kg baby boy - what a fat little fucker. The parents are having trouble naming him. Here are a few suggestions - Scott Cummings, Lance Whitnall, Bernard Finnigan, Kevin Foley, or Amanda Vanstone.


• Hans Feldmeier - the 87 year-old German who kept a tub of lard in his kitchen cupboard for 64 years and it turns out the lard is still edible. Amanda Vanstone has sent him a dinner invitation.