Week 15 nominees

• NAB Cup - it has as much meaning as winning a game of bingo at the Enfield RSL.


• Michaelangelo Rucci - for more anti-SANFL drivel. His article with the headline "SANFL paints the town red" was a crock of shit - the reason the SANFL lost money last year is because they had to bail out those terminal fuckwits, Port Power. You're a dickhead, Rucci, plain and simple.


• The Redbacks - failed to win a game during the Sheffield Shield season yet still insist on playing never-was-beens from interstate like Aiden Blizzard, Adam Crosthwaite and Theo Alphabet.


• Thorpey - next time you make a comeback it might help if you didn't wear those fucking gay FMBs in the pool.


• Lady Ga Ga - is thinking about having a long media hiatus. Don't think, do!


• Huuge Bosse - the cunt has not stopped laughing since getting a hip replacement three years ago. After the operation, his wife gave him a video, Luke Jarrad's greatest hits.


• Don McLean - the inspid prick is considering retiring. For fucksake, hurry up, will ya. Fucking bye bye American Pie, do us all a favour and keel over a die.


• Electricity prices - SA's will soon be the most expensive in the world. That is right - number one in the world. Hey, Paul Keating and John Bannon, you dogs, you forced privatisation upon us. Got anything to say? Arseholes.


• John Kenneally - fair dinkum, no wonder Blakey quit 5aa. You are the most boring cunt I have ever heard on radio. Do you really think anyone wants to hear another fucking bar of Billy Joel's Piano Man or anything by fucking ABBA? Fuck me. Throw into the mix Keith Cockhead and Jane Doyle and you have got the aural equivalent of constipation. And who's idea was it to give Tim "The Chin" Ginever a gig on radio - he's fucking worse than that golliwog Tim Noonan.


• Warren Tredrea - could become the new John Kenneally. Fucking boring dick with ears.


• Andrew Demetriou, Jason Mifsud, Stephen Trigg, the Media - don't let the facts get in the way of a good story, fuckwits.


• Michelangelo Rucci - when are you and The Chad having your civil ceremony to marry, you two cunts. Fucken hell, the way Rucci still promotes the fucken human sprinkler makes you wonder if he spends as much time on Chad's dick as Molly Meldrum does on Jeff the purple Wiggle's.


• Jeff the Wiggle - Wake Up, Jeff, Molly wants a crack at your feather sword.


• The Chad - whilst being interviewed in The Chadvertiser spoke of how he enjoys being at GWS because "It's great to come somewhere where you're actually wanted and respected". Excuse me while I fucken get a tissue, I'm sure the same thing applies when you walk down Oxford St in Sydney with your arseless chaps on. He also said about his sheepdog brother Kane " I think he deserves a lot more respect than he's getting here at the moment", he might get respect if he wasn't such a self-indulgent cunt, somewhat like yourself.


• Bernard Finnigan - where are you fatboy? You'd have to be happy, these days you can also buy pizza, grog and groceries online. Isn't it amazing what you can find online if you want to look?


• The State MP charged with accessing child pornography - the number and severity of the charges have tripled. Wonder if he also orders pizza, grog, and groceries online?


• Ben Cousins - Benny, when the doctor in rehab told you to give drugs the arse, he didn't mean to shove them up ya jatz cracker!


• Jack Snelling - apparently the hobbit is a keen amateur boxer. He is also a keen amateur treasurer too.


• Kevin Foley - just another reason to turn off 5aa.


• Jason Downie - a couple of bullets will fix this evil little fucker.


• Animal activists - for being outraged that a pig was given breast implants. The pig in question, Lara Bingle, hasn't complained.


• Labor party focus groups - fair dinkum fuckwits. The latest group was paid $370,000 to suggest that we should not celebrate the centenary of ANZAC Day in 2015 because it might offend immigrants. Let's see how offended these immigrants would be if the Nazis ruled the world and the cunts ended up in a gas chamber. Donate that $370,000 to the families of soldiers lost in Afghanistan, you fuckwits.


• Peter Slipper - the cunt loves to don a robe but rocked up to an official function at the Coulandra RSL in jeans. Show some respect, fuckwit.


• The Hunger Games - what is all the fuss about? Isn't it a movie about Karen Carpenter?


• John Tomic - ejected from the tennis for heckling his son. Sure his last name isn't Dokic?


• Glenelg Traders - for calling for a new cinema to be built at Glenelg. You fuckwits, ya just knocked one down to build more fucking useless shops. Dickheads.


• Donna Cooper - the "law expert" has suggested that divorces don't need to be nasty. What the fuck is the point of getting a fucking divorce then?


• Tom Kenyon - stupid is as Kenyon does. What a fucking plonker. Minister of Science? Pig's arse, more like Minister for Silly Walks.


• The Gay and Lesbian Christian Conference - fuck, that conference ticks all the boxes.


• John Keneally - jesus, I really have to stop listening to 5aa. The retard has suggested that Adelaide should build a monorail from the airport to the city and that an flat escalator should be built between Victoria Square and Adelaide Oval. For fucksake, isn't that an episode of the Simpsons?


• Former US President Dick Cheney - the cunt had a heart transplant. Didn't know he had one in the first place.


• GWS v Sydney - zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Great Waste of Space.


• Kelly Vincent - for suggesting that taxpayers fund sex workers for people with disabilities. I know Wayne Swan is a fucking mongo but I'm pretty sure the cunt is married and doesn't need a taxpayer funded root. Ironic though because the cunt is going to fair dinkum root taxpayers with the carbon tax.


• People who refer to "sex workers" - they are called fucking whores, for fucksake.


• Monique Jeffrey - the poor bitch sneezed and broke her neck. Shit, that is bad luck. When I sneeze the only thing I normally break is wind.


• Advertiser - for putting up Studley Cornes as a potential celebrity premier. That would certainly guaran-fucking-tee that I would leave this fucking state. He does has one good suggestion though, to save the Murray he'll get his sons to recite, "she sells sea shells by the sea shore".


• George Mancini - lawyer for serial kiddy fiddler, Laurence O'Shea. For arguing that the "harshness" of his client's harrassment in prison should have led to a suspended sentence. Fuck off, the "harshness" of his crime should have led to him being suspended from a fucking tree.


• The Pope - pictured in a fucking sombrero. A different look to his usual ku klux klan outfit.


• AFL - for allowing James McDonald to get rubbed out for 2 weeks for a beautiful shirt front.


• Anna Bligh/Qld Labor - FUBAR. Very funny. They should keep playing that surfing song, "Wipeout".


• Demetriou - in the words of one reader, for just being a cunt. Can't argue with that.


• Jason Akermanis - he has become so irrelevant that he needs to make poorly timed comments about Jim Stynes. You are a dickhead, Aker.


• Dermott Brereton - picked Hawthorn to win the flag. That is a big surprise. Give that cunt a line in the sand, or preferably a hole to bury him in. The fucker has had more work done on his face than Mount fucking Rushmore.


• God - either he is a fucking cunt or he doesn't exist. The death of Jim Stynes proves that. Any Christians out there care to debate me on this?


• Cancer - what a cunt. It knocks on Jim Stynes' door but has left cunts like Jason Downie, Eugene McGee and Laurence O'Shea alone. There is no justice.


• Queensland surfers - for fucksake, you would think they would learn to swim before trying to surf. Ok, that was a bit below the belt...


• Titanic 3D - does that mean it will be as three times as crap as the first time it was released?