Round 25 Nominees

• Adelaide Crows supporters - by far the least knowledgeable and most ignorant supporters in the modified rules league. You could deadset write a book bigger than the fucken Bible about what they don't know about the game. Their rational is if they have the ball, they are the gods fucken gift. If someone tackles them it's too high or in the back. If they tackle someone it must be holding the ball even if they just ripped the cunts head off. Etcetera fucken etcetera, they know nothing, just a hybrid mishmash of fuckarses,dumbfucks and malcontents. Stick to what you know something about,knitting,drinking cheap chardy, and enjoying the smell of your own farts. Don't you dare say that you support an interstate team, you're not a true Sth Aussie. And now the wankers are in the finals all of Sth Aus is supposed to support them, heaven forbid if don't, well you're not a true Sth Aussie and you should go and live in Victoria if you like it so much. It's this sort of bullshit that makes everyone who's not a crows supporter fucken despise them with a passion. What an arrogant pack of wankers, they've been pissing on about winning the flag since the pre season, and after a soft draw in the regular season reckon that all they had to do was get ready for the GF celebrations in September. Fuck off the lot of ya, even if you got to the GF and it was against Collingwood I'd support them over you pack of  cunts.
• Tony Dey - this prick is a deadset thief. The amount of times he destroys games of footy seemingly because it gives him a stiffy are far too many to mention, but it is fucking lovely that he seems to save a fair chunk of his cheating fucking bias for Centrals. Time after time he dry roots the dogs, a perfect example being the recent final against West. West probably would have won without his help but the prick did everything in his power to give them a huge leg up.   On behalf of all football followers and in particular Centrals supporters I say FUCK OFF.
• The SANFL Tribunal - gave Centrals onballer James Boyd two weeks for whacking that little fucking turd from Sturt Matthew Jaensch. Belting fuckarses like Jaensch, or anyone from Sturt for that matter should not result in a punishment, I think Boyd should have got 3 Magarey votes.
• Stephen Rowe - when doggies forward Alan Obst gave a West defender Joel Tippett a well deserved belt which resulted in him getting suspended ,the doyen of commentators thought it was full back Yves Sibenaler who delivered the blow. Just one problem, he was over a 100m away from the incident. Stick to licking the crows arses you peanut.
• Sth Australian media - Rucci,Cornes,Rowe, Riccuito and all the rest, shut the fuck up the lot of ya. The mass saturation of Camry cows garbage is a fucken embarrassment, how did you go in the cows quizzes?Did you know that Scott Thompson uses three pieces of sunny paper to wipe his arse after a shit? For fucksake it makes me want to spew. And whilst the John McCarthy incident is a tragedy,the Adelaide media have made the whole incident into a complete circus, if it was you or me that had done what he did we would be chastised for our foolishness and would be lucky to even get on page 35.
• Optus - gonna fix my Internet any time soon? Hello Ryan? Ryan? How about you stop pulling your dick over Sachin Tendulkar photos and FIX MY FUCKING INTERNET YOU CUNT.
• Shared Wellingham - is considering leaving Collingwood because they aren't offering him the coin he thinks he's worth. Got some tickets on yourself champ? I wouldn't pay fuck all for the ponce, he spends more time preening his hair than Essendon 'hard man' Mark McVeigh. Has the carbon tax increased the price of gel that fucken much?
• The six women who staged a protest at Jobe Watson's Brownlow Medal press conference -apparently their gripe was that horses get more coverage in the media than women in sport. There's a reason for that, most women's sport is as boring as batshit to watch. 
• Alan Jones - Sydney's answer to Bob Francis has again shown his class with a tirade against Julia Gillard,saying that the reason for her old man's passing was " The old man died a few weeks ago of shame " . Wait till the body's cold you fucken crusty old parasite. It's not her old man's fault she's turned out to be a fuckup.

• The Cairns AFL competition - former Camry Cows and North Adelaide spud Nick Gill kicked 106 goals in their comp this year. Need any more reasons?
• Kurt Tippett - just fuck off to NSW for christsake,I'm sick of hearing the bullshit about your contract negotiations.
• Adrian Bayley - the filth that kidnapped, raped and murdered Melbourne woman Jill Meagher. Nothing they do to this prick will be enough for the crime he's committed, they should put a bullet in him. 
• The Australian Judicial system - allowed Adrian Bayley back in public even after he pleaded guilty to 16 charges of rape against 5 women a decade ago. Why was this prick not locked up for good? The blood of Jill Meagher is on the hands of the fuckwits that let this animal have a second chance.
• Robert Hughes - lead actor ( I'll be fucked if I'll use the term star to describe what he called acting ) of sitcom Hey Dad is being extradited on sexual assault charges ). Hey Dad, you're a dirty fucken rock spider.
• Female tv viewers - for watching fucken crap like Winners and Losers, Downton Abbey,Please Marry My Boy, Offspring, and Packed to the Rafters thereby giving them better than average ratings,attracting big sponsorship dollars and keeping them on tv. Start watching decent shows like the footy,cricket, and anything that involves people getting the shit blown out of them.
• Stephanie-Krystie Chin- since joining social network drivel Twitter in 2007, has made more than 193,000 tweets, or an average of 106 per day. When questioned she made the remark " It either means I'm really clever, or I don't have a life ". I know which option I'd pick.
• Ryan Schoenmakers - Hawthorn plonker has revealed that the way he likes to relax before a game is to watch a movie, preferably an action film. It's a shame he's not a fan of horror films,I've got a decent collection of Hawthorn games where he's the star attraction.
• Kim Kardashian - fucken twitter, this tart thought every needed to know " I just hope I'm not turning into one of those cat ladies that's tweeting too many pictures of her pet ". If by pet you mean your thrashed out flange, everyone's seen it. Move along nothing to see here.
• New Zealand immigration officials - are considering giving convicted rapist Mike Tyson a visa to enter the country. Sheep nationwide await the decision nervously.
• Cecil Chao - Hong Kong businessman has offered $65 million to any bloke who can win the heart of his lesbian daughter. Self-styled lothario Kevin Foley was last seen hurriedly boarding a plane at Adelaide airport.
• Cameron Spencer-Long - punnethead who got pissed and hijacked a taxi, whilst blissfully unaware that there were two people in the back who were later injured. According to his lawyer he suffers from a Jekyll and Hyde personality when under the influence. Don't think so pal, the only thing he suffers from is being a pissed fuckwit.

• Matthew Newton - didn't someone's old man fork out for an expensive lawyer? The greatest Aussie acting export since Yahoo Serious got off charges of punching a taxi driver. Apparently Moonface's young bloke ( who shall hereafter be known as Cockface ) is now a changed man, I can only a assume it means he's now changed the drugs he mixes with grog whilst smacking his girlfriend round.
• Adelaide City Council - have run into a bit of a problem with the giant white elephant that is the Victoria Square development after discovering that the ground is contaminated. Who would've thought that all the urine and stale VB dregs that have been spilt there over the years cold have done any harm.
• Bernard Finnigan - well fuck me dead and call me a lard arsed paedo, it was old Bernard who was the Labor MP who's been downloading kiddy porn, who would've picked that. 
• The husband and wife who thought it appropriate to circumcise their 6 and 7 year old daughters  - sick fucks, just because you have a religious belief doesn't give you the right to mutilate your children.
• Matt Damon - " luckily, I found out all three of my youngest girls love broccoli ". It's no wonder they like broccoli, with an old man like him they're used to having vegetables in the house.
• The couple from Norway who won lotto three times, each time  just before or after the birth of their three kids - what's so special about that, go to Elizabeth shopping centre and look at the fat arsed single mothers in lycra spending our tax dollars whilst dragging on a ciggie  with a newborn hanging off their tit. They get a fucken handout everytime as well.

• INXS - can't find any more shit lead singers so they're contemplating touring with a Michael Hutchence hologram. So for Suicide Blonde are they gonna just show him in his hotel room with a stiffy and a belt round his neck?

• Port Power - no one wants to play for ya, no one wants to watch ya, no one wants to sponsor ya, and no cunt wants to coach ya. Hehehehehehehehehe fucken gold.

Michael Avon - might pay to have eyes in the back of your head next time you venture out to Elizabeth oval you cheating cunt. Whatever James Gowans said to you after the game against North you fucken deserved.

Crows supporters - waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, Kurt Tippett's fucked off, have a cry you fuckarses. You know the secondary reason why he left? He fucken hated playing for a team supported by a pack of retarded squealing pigs.

Hawthorn - way to chuck away a grannie , learn to fucken kick.